Honoring the Feminine

I was a women's studies minor in college. My senior year I did a paper for my Feminist Theory class that changed my life and my perspective on what feminism is. It was initially an effort to see what was happening in feminist movements at that time. This was 96 or 97. Most of the reading for my women's studies classes had been about either the suffrage era or the 70's. I figured surely there was something happening more currently, but we hadn't talked about it. Indeed there was. It was just the beginning whisper of women starting to share that they wanted to do things in a more "feminine" way.

First, let's clarify some stuff.

The issues faced by marginalized populations are really important to me, so I want to be really clear exactly what I am talking about. When I say feminine I mean feminine energy. Both men and women have it. When I say woman or women, I am talking about anyone who identifies as a woman. Obviously some women have a lot of masculine energy and still identify as women. Some of this will be generalizing for the sake of having this important conversation.

A tiny bit of the history of feminism

So I'm not going back before suffrage, though obviously there is feminist history long before that. There have been many matrilineal societies over time, and of course there have always been witches, which generally means women who were crazy enough to question men and had a tendency to learn about, honor, and respect the earth. I was definitely a witch in another life. Maybe more than once.

In any case, we are just gonna talk about the last 100 years or so and even then only briefly. Feminism has been littered with some foul stains, and it's not right to skip over them. To be sure women are often involved in other social justice movements, and it seems that women's movements will follow those movements. Women were instrumental in abolition and then felt abandoned when women did not also gain suffrage when African American men did. Unfortunately white feminists chose to take the low road and use racism in an effort to advance their cause. Writings of the major suffrage movement in the early 20th century are littered with both overt and subtle racism. I think it says something of the power of the patriarchy that the only way women thought they could gain suffrage was by putting down others. Perhaps some day we will learn to band together?

In the 1950's women were again feeling the hurt. It has often been thought that many women could not stomach going back to the home after being such an integral part of the war effort. I tend to think it was a little something different. I think the pressure from tv shows like Leave it to Beaver and the accompanying popular culture movement to be always cheerful and constantly in service to men and children probably had more to do with it than simply being home. The culture was also incredibly stifling at that time, expecting everyone to put on an absurd mask of perfection and happiness all the time. People were boxed in, and authenticity was hard, if not completely forbidden. Whatever the cause, suicide rates for women were at an all time high.

A fringe benefit of the blossoming civil rights movement was that women had a much needed outlet for involvement in the larger culture in a meaningful way. Unfortunately, women were relegated to supporting roles. While it makes sense for white women to not be leading a civil rights movement, it was unfortunate for the movement that women of color who were experiencing double discrimination did not get the opportunity to lead. It was the same with the anti war movement. Women were put into supporting roles, even amongst those fighting against. "The man."

Hence, 70's feminism. Women were ready to stand up and say they could do anything a man could do, including leading important revolutions, and deserved equal pay for doing so. It was an important step because obviously women should be able to do anything they want to do and be paid equally. For reasons beyond my comprehension, this still hasn't happened. It's not the endgame, though. There is so much more.

So when I was writing my paper I began to hear about young feminists who were speaking out to bring more feminine energy to the work they were already doing. Primarily they were talking about beginning to work collaboratively, rather than competitively and to use more accessible language. Accessible language was super important to me. In fact I was at the same time working on my senior thesis about declining salmon populations in the Pacific Northwest. I was an Environmental Studies major, and I decided there was absolutely no point in writing about serious environmental issues in language common people can't understand. My point was that these issues needed to be heard by average people and needed to be written at a fourth grade level. I think this is a feminine energy to want to share information with others. Most science is written in what I call "blow job language." Some people get off on big words. I find that amusing and also disturbing. Needless to say my three male advisors did not approve my senior thesis, and I had to spend my summer rewriting it so I could graduate. You might imagine that just fed my fire.

What's happening now

That trend I was seeing in the 90's has continued. Women are pushing for a more feminine world. I learned a lot when I got pregnant the first time. Women are taking back birth and fighting to raise their children in more feminine, cooperative, compassionate, communicative environments. This has led to revolutions in birth and education, among others. Women are pushing for better ways for conflict resolution than bombing the shit out of people. There are some beautiful women's groups in Palestine, Israel, Iran, all over the world seeking a better way.

Women are also seeking recognition for that which is feminine. This is a big piece for me. As a general rule I am here on this planet to assist people through the paradigm shift. That was revealed to me on my vision quest. I discovered recently that has mostly to do with helping parents learn how and why to get out of their children's way because most children already understand the shift and were born on the other side of it. That's why we are often so confusing to them. In any case, all this is really feminine work, and it's not really valued. It's also radical and world changing. All the other things I talked about - cooperation, nurturing, compassion, communication, peaceful conflict resolution - none of these are paid well. In fact they aren't particularly valued at all by the vast majority of our culture. If you look at work that is traditionally viewed as feminine, it is almost universally neither paid well nor valued. Of course if women aren't even getting equal pay for the same exact job, perhaps it makes sense we haven't hit the next step.

However it is absolutely where I want to put my focus. My mission here on earth has not changed, but this is an added piece. We need to find a way to honor the feminine, and in this world, that needs to also include finding a way to support women financially in this work. Women are doing beautiful, amazing, and powerful work. We need support and we need honored. We should not be living in destitute poverty. This is the beauty of Steemit. This is the first place where I have been fully treasured and given financial support on top of that for doing the work I do and sharing my heart and experiences with all of you.

Moving forward

There's still a lot of growth to be sure. Many women still feel excluded from the feminist movement with good reason. Many mainstream feminists have chosen to remain rather quiet about disturbing trends facing marginalized women. Women of color face multiple avenues of discrimination and are in increasing physical danger, particularly from police, and without intersectionality (understanding the different layers of oppression many people are under: race, economic, gender, orientation, trans, etc.), we cannot make real progress. The average lifespan of a trans black woman is 26. That's absolutely unacceptable. Many mainstream feminists still fail to understand that the pussy hats from the women's March are totally insensitive to trans women. There's always more work to do.

In 1998 I had my first child. I was totally blown away when I discovered (some 10 minutes after he was born when I finally thought to look) that I had a boy. I knew nothing about the struggles of being a boy. I've learned a lot since then, and I know, men, that you face substantial challengers from a culture that both limits and expects too much of you. I want to say that we need to focus on women right now. I promise that focusing on women will have benefits for everyone, including, and perhaps especially, young boys. Particularly in light of the intense focus right now on sexual abuse and harassment, please know that most women are in a near constant state of being triggered. It's hard. Please do what you can to help this shift for women to feel safe, honored, and treasured. In fact I would love to hear a man's perspective on what men can do to support this shift. I have some ideas, but I'd love to hear a man's ideas as well.

Right now we need to start with listening to each other. We need to honor the feminine within all of us. We need to honor the women all around us. And we need to honor our earth mother, the essence of feminine, the very definition of mothering. One need only look at the state of our earth to know we are not honoring the feminine. I look forward to hearing all your thoughts. This is truly one of the most beautiful communities I have ever found. Thanks for reading. Much love.

All images from Pixabay