Ecotrain Question of the Week: What do you need to be happy?

misslasvegas (71)in #ecotrain • 6 years ago (edited)

This week's @ecotrain Question of the Week is an interesting one. Maybe even a hard one. I believe that happiness means something entirely different for different people. Some of us are happy with the simplest things, like the first flowers in bloom in spring. Others can have everything anyone's heart desires and are still never happy.

Source: www.beginmag.com

What makes one person happy can make another miserable.

I have a friend for instance, who loves the four seasons. So she would much rather be in a place where there is a sunny, mild spring - a warm, sunny summer, a rainy autumn and a cold, snowy winter.

For me, this would be hell!

In my perfect world there would be only spring and summer, maybe a little snow every now and then in the winter with otherwise mild temperatures.
But you can keep the long, cold and rainy autumns for all I care.
Funny enough, I don't mind warm, heavy summer rains.

I know, I moved to the wrong country because here in Ireland it's pretty much autumn or 'fall' all year around. Interesting name isn't it?

'FALL'

I've always wondered about that. It's probably used because of the falling of the leaves around that time of year (or so I imagine) but for me the name always had a much darker ring to it. More like: falling into depression kinda thing... Not that I'm a person who gets depressed easily. But I can imagine how the fall would make people depressed. Although I’ve learned to appreciate some of its beauty too.

Source: www.pixabay.com

Happiness in simplicity

For a young child, happiness can be as simple as 1 - 2 - 3.

My son can dance around the room in pure bliss when I put on a Michael Jackson song. Spending one-on-one time with him will also bring out the best in him. The same with the others, even the teenager sometimes. A trip to the shop alone with me, even if it's just for 10 minutes, will make their day.

For me, simple and unexpected things can make me happy and buzzing for days to come.
My eldest daughter was staying with her boyfriend last week, when his parents and sisters were away for a week.
I thought I wouldn't see her that whole time but on the second day she called me to ask if we had anything planned for dinner and if we would like to come over to his house as they were cooking. It was totally unexpected because usually she can't wait to get away from annoying siblings and an even more annoying mother. So this gesture made my day.
Maybe she won't forget us after all, even when she does fly the nest eventually. We ended up seeing them most of the week as they were joining us at the lake whenever we went there.

Expectations create unhappiness

I don't claim to know it all when it comes to happiness. Far from it. I have my moments of, what feels like, desperation.
But what I have learned throughout the years, is that having expectations can make a person miserable.
I try to teach my kids to never expect anything and I NEVER promise anything. It keeps a nice balance. Because that way, they won't get disappointed and I will never have to break a promise. The only promise I can make them is to love them unconditionally and for as long as I live. I once made my first daughter (when she was little) the promise that I would always protect her, only to discover that there was a time when I couldn't. To me, that promise was a tough one to break, even though it was never my fault. So I decided just to never promise anything again.

I used to have my life all planned out when I was younger. I started travelling in my early twenties. The first country abroad I lived in on my own was Japan. Due to some issues at home I had to leave earlier than I was expecting. When I left, I promised myself and my friends there that I would be back. Soon. After 6 weeks at home, I left for Hong Kong and then Indonesia, always with my plan to make it back to Japan in the back of my mind. I never did make it back, something that made me miserable for a little while. But what I got in return was so much better. I ended up spending unexpected time in South East Asia, in countries I had never planned of going to.
They were the best years of my life!

And when I had to leave again, unexpectedly, I made myself the same promise: I'd be back. Only to be miserable for a whole year! I don't think I ever truly got over it. So I made one last promise to myself: Never to expect anything from anyone and never to make any plans for they always turned out differently than expected.
My life has become so much simpler because of it.

No expectations, no disappointments.

I've learned to just go with the flow of life and see where it takes me. I sometimes find myself 'planning' ahead of things but always quickly hit myself in the head with a hammer (not literally of course) to remind myself I shouldn't. Of course there are moments when I feel 'stuck'. Many of them even. But I keep reminding myself that everything has a reason, so even me feeling stuck in one place when my heart is elsewhere, has a good reason.

The simple things

I still haven't got it down 100%.
There are still moments when I think life would be better if there was more money -
if we were somewhere else
IF...if...