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RE: Some thoughts on Open Relationships... Making the world a better place by learning to love
I just can't get beyond how the openness by default has to include a third and/or fourth party. It has to be OK and fair between more than one person. Short term I can see that being fine, but is it sustainable? What are humans anyway?
It doesn't have to, but it allows for that option. In this case, the question is more of whether a long distance relationship such as ours is sustainable and healthy in the long term - and exploring alternatives without being bound by moralistic judgements of what a relationship can or cannot be.
Also, it's not necessarily the case that everyone is suited to, or even looking for marriage. And also the case that many marriages 'fail' because one or both partners feel trapped or limited by being 'owned' by the other.
The question of what is sustainable in a relationship goes both ways. For some people in long term marriage, the psychological and emotional toll can get too high. I guess it all depends on the people involved and the arrangements and agreements they make between themselves - how well they get on in a relationship. Communication is important. So is choice of partner. So is accepting and loving our partner for the human they are and allowing them to be that person, while at the same time being true to ourselves....
Sure, it's a lot to take on. I really don't think there's a right or wrong way. Maybe it's all written in the stars. Maybe we keep meeting the same old souls in different incarnations, each time trying to get it right - to reconcile our differences. Who knows?