"Now that we have a better understanding of patriarchy and matriarchy, what is your ideal societal structure?"

in ecotrain •  8 months ago

It's the 'good week', this week, which means it's easter weekend, preceded by 'white Thursday' and 'good Friday'.

On white Thursday we remember the last supper Jesus had with his apostles before being arrested, judged and crusified the next day, which we remember on good Friday.

Yesterday evening, on white Thursday, before bed, with no other light then the candles and a cup of tea by my side, I felt inspired to read about 'The last supper'.

'Jesus Washes the Disciple's Feet'

John 13:1-16

Verse 1: "Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.

Verse 3-4: "Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist."

Verse 5: "Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him."

Verse 12: "When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you?"

Verse 13-15: "You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you."

(From: https://www.trusting-in-jesus.com/Jesus-Washes-the-Disciples-Feet.html)

I was very touched by this image of Jesus washing his disciples feet as it takes all hierarchy between them away. The master serves the disciples. That is how I see my ideal social structure.

In my previous post in the social structure series about matriarchy, ( https://steemit.com/ecotrain/@clara-andriessen/what-is-matriarchy-what-do-you-think-a-matriarchal-society-would-look-like-ecotrain-question-of-the-week)
I have written:

Women and men who are well in tune with their feminine qualities see a position of leadership as a service instead of a privilege and therefore are in the modus of 'giving' instead of 'taking'.

This is exactly what Jesus is showing his disciples here. And it makes it extra special for me that it is a man humbling himself and washing his disciples feet. Showing us that even at that time and age men could have this feminine quality of mothering leadership too.

I feel we are all evolving into more whole human beings. Finding a balance between our feminine and masculine sides.

And I have a feeling that in a very near future and you can already see it within some people, women will have a strong masculine side that will balance out their feminine qualities and men will have a strong feminine side that will balance out their masculine qualities.

As fellow @ecotrain writer on steemit @solarsupermama concluded so well after reading my post about matriarchy:

In reading this I realised that toxic masculinity is very simply pure masculinity with no feminine balance. Masculinity is beautiful, but it has to be balanced.

And this is so true...
The same is holds true for the feminine. It needs to be balanced by the masculine.
The feminine unbalanced by the masculine is just as well toxic.

So my ideal societal structure is all about the balance between the feminine and the masculine qualities.

A few years ago this model came in to my mind when I wanted to see in a clear picture how the feminine, the masculine and their unbalanced 'shadow' sides influence each other. And especially which one to turn to for help when one of them gets out of balance:


Some qualities belonging to each of the parts of the model:
(To give you an idea)

Balanced Feminine qualities-------versus-------Unbalanced Feminine qualities:

playful-------versus-------over-playful/unable to concentrate

Balanced Masculine qualities ---------versus ---------Unbalanced Masculine qualities:

discipline--------versus--------- over-disciplined
concentrated----------- versus---------over-focussed/obsessed

I wanted to make clear by the shape and placement of the shapes, how the BALANCED FEMININE and the BALANCED MASCULINE (qualities) form a unit that sustains each other through positive influence. See, they form a fish together or one part of the yin/yang symbol.

Below the 'light fish' is a 'shaded fish' where the UNBALANCED FEMININE and UNBALANCED MASCULINE form a unity together, sustaining each other through negative influence.
Does that make sense?
On a micro cosmic level, the mutual sustaining dynamics on the side of the 'light fish' would look something like this:
Your balanced feminine qualities leave ample space for-, work together with- and even stimulate your balanced masculine qualities. And the other way around: Your balanced masculine qualities of discipline and structure make it possible for you to organise your course in hypno birthing ( something feminine), by putting papers together in a binder in categories so you can find the information you are looking for easily. And as such is serving 'Life' instead of overruling it. This is very helpful.

On the side of the 'shaded fish, this mutual sustaining dynamic would look like this:
The unbalanced masculine qualities suppress the feminine qualities, which also becomes unbalanced and will lash out with cat claws at the unbalanced masculine qualities, which in turn will become more fiery and dominating and apply more structure, force and dicipline in to your life, without it being in service of Life/the feminine. The feminine qualities become repressed and can get very hysterical and demanding, overemotional about just about anything because she's not being given space. So they bring out the worst in each other on a micro cosmic level but also on a macro cosmic level.

From what I am writing you may already have understood that I feel it's all about he balance between the feminine and masculine qualities BUT I feel that the feminine qualities should be leading.

(Please note that I am not talking about genders but about qualities here)

The feminine qualities represent LIFE for me. The masculine qualities give shape and structure to that life, but it is about the life.

Life can NOT go without these VERY IMPORTANT masculine qualities of shape and structure. But a structured shape without life in it, what is that? ( it's more or less the social structure we have in the west.) Both are equal, but discipline and organisation ( masculine qualities) should serve life and not the other way around.
You also have a social structure that has a lot of life without much organisational structure to it. This you can see in the East of the world a lot. Some people prefer the chaos filled with life over the lifeless structure, but it is still unbalanced and parts of both versions of unbalanced societies are dysfunctional and causing hurt because of it.

Back to the 'Model of influence':

Can you see why I chose to place the Balanced Feminine next to the Unbalanced Masculine so that they too form a fish together? A fish that is half light half dark.
I felt they have more and easier influence on each other then both of the feminine sides would have on each other somehow.
I felt like when I am feeling stuck and too much in my ( unbalanced) masculine side and it's not serving life anymore, that I need to give some input from my balanced feminine side to get back in my flow. Like I will choose something indulging to eat, for example a piping hot pizza, dripping with cheese and smelling of garlic and oregano with a glass of wine. ( Indulgence is a feminine quality) That will get me right out of my head and out of my over-meticulous organisational fit that I'm having, where I'm disciplining myself to go on and on, even though I'm shaking with hunger.It will bring me back in touch with what life is all about: Enjoyment.
This is the meaning of the arrow that points from the Balance Feminine side towards the Unbalanced masculine side and says: 'positive influence'

Somehow when you're stuck in the unbalanced masculine it is realy hard to get back into the flow by trying to influence yourself from your balanced masculine side, as far as you can remember it at that point, see what I mean? Like you are over-meticulously organising, now try to influence yourself to do it less meticulour and more in balance that is practically impossible and will go much better if yo have a pizza first ( putting some positive influence from your balanced feminine side in.)

This pathway of influence is the one we need most in our western society right now to get back in to balance. We need the positive influence of the Balanced Feminine qualities on the Unbalanced Masculine qualities.

But there is another pathway of influence to be seen on the model:

There is the positive influence of the Balanced Masculine that is very healthy for the Unbalanced Feminine qualities. Supose you are drowning in your own emotions because you did a little too much soul searching and can't seem to stop. You are laying in your bed telling your self that it would be best if you loved yourself a little more and got out of bed to treat you inner child to a cartoon (A balanced feminine quality, pampering) , I would be likely that that wouldn't help very much to get you out of bed, you'de want to do it in bed and keep watching untill the batery ran out. What I need at such a moment is my Balanced Masculine side that tells me, up you get, fill a laundry machine, open a window and start scooping some compost unto your veg garden. And tonight we're eating healthy and reading abook instead of watching crap on the television. ( The balanced masculine that will dicipline you, to do what you need.)

This is the pathway of positive influence from the Balanced Masculine to the Unbalanced Feminine and it is a pathway that would be very helpful for the eastern part of the world.

I realise I have talked a lot about balance on the level of the indiviual instead of on the level of society, this is because I believe a whole and balanced society is made up of many, many whole and balanced individuals.

This is what Jesus ( and Mary of Magdalen) came to tell us. Become whole and find a balance between the masculine and feminine qualities ( sacred union) within yourself and you will serve society the best way you can. He did it and we are still today remembering how he washed his disciples feet and feel the blessing of his whole and humble being. And not only that but the 'spilling of his blood' which happened at his crucifixion, which we are remembering today, has opened a way for us to be more balanced within as it was before our genes were genetically modified.
(For more explanation on that see the first article on societal structures that I have written about patriarchy and it's origin see: https://steemit.com/ecotrain/@clara-andriessen/what-is-patriarchy-is-a-patriarchy-the-same-as-a-society-led-by-men-or-is-it-more-a-society-led-by-fear-and-a-feeling-of)
The reason for this is that he ( and Mary of Magdalen) held the original innocence within their DNA, and it is said that when his blood hit the earth when the Roman guard pierced his side, it reinformed the earth and all creatures on it of this innocence, so that we more easily could resurrect they way they did.

Easter blessings everybody!

Love Clara

I am an @ecotrain writer, for more answers by other writers to this weeks @ecotrain question check out @ecotrain.

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ahhh VEry nice final post Clara. Yes it is so much about balance, and balancing the masculine and feminine.. and im sure a balanced matriarchy would be very inclusive to men.. and i agree that a REAL matriarchy is a balanced one and not an overlay of the same old thing but with women!


Thanks! Did yo have a look at the model of influence?

I realise I have talked a lot about balance on the level of the indiviual instead of on the level of society, this is because I believe a whole and balanced society is made up of many, many whole and balanced individuals.

Not until we are intune with our individualism (balance between feminity and masculinity) can we truly have a balanced society, and it starts with us as individuals, cascades to our homes then communities and societies at large.
Jesus showed us true balance by coming down from his thrown (position of power), became man to help man (servanthood).

Wow nice illustration! This visual really helps to illustrate your points. I appreciate your insight that we can all have all four sides in us at different times or depending on the context. So helpful in seeing that we can ask one of the 2 balanced sides within ourselves to help balance, not just expecting it to come from another.

i love your highlighting on this classical jesus story. i grew up in the church and haven't thought about many of the stories i heard then for quite some time. it is certainly a radical model of the "mothering leadership", as you put it, that jesus showed the disciples. i, too, agree the healthy feminine needs to lead, especially for balancing that toxic masuclinity that has gone warward and extreme for far too long.

i really like how @solarsupermama put it, that it's unhealthy because it's lacking the feminine. this can also be thought of as hypermasculinity. great write up! i've loved your responses for this entire series and i really appreciate you dreaming up this question for us. i've found it so nourishing and fun! to answer these questions in such an amazing group that we have here with #ecotrain. blessings, clara <3!


Thanks! Yes, it's been fun hasn't it?

this is great @clara-andriessen, we really do need balance and it is so true that the masculine and feminine help so much in bringing balance to one another. We need to see the importance that each hold in bringing about the whole. Thanks so much for these amazing questions xxx


You're very welcome, my pleasure. Yes, I love the masculine too. It's so valuable.

Mostly, you write short, precise posts so seeing this detailed post by you brought me immense joy. I love how you went deep into the topic and made your point. The incident you shared from the Bible is just beautiful and just shows how kind Jesus was. That's how all the other prophets have been and if we go through their examples, we understand how important it is for everyone to spread compassion around. Lovely post!


Thank you for reading it! It really depends on which posts you pick wether they are short or not. Sometimes things just need a little more explainingthen others, but when I can I do like to be to the point. :-)