This is What Everyone Thinks of You!

Welcome! Come on in and take a seat. Pour a drink and relax.

This post may change the way you view yourself for the rest of your days. If this is the first post you are reading, please take a look at my previous posts too, for they hold just as much potential for inner change. Expanding your mind takes courage, so hold on tight because we are going to find out who you really are!

Imagine that you and I are sat in a room together. Now imagine that I asked you this question: 'How many of us are there here in this room?' You would naturally answer that there are two of us. Yes it would be true that there only two actual individual people in the room, however there is more than one 'version' of us. If someone was to ask us who we think we are, most of us would be able to explain our appearance, our personality, what we do for a living ect without too much trouble, but we missing a very vital truth.

It is best explained by a story I learned about a monk and his student, walking through the forest. They both came upon a pond that had goldfish in it. The monk asked the student to count the fish and announce the answer. The student, eager to please went about counting them. 'Eleven fish, Master! There are eleven goldfish in the pond.' The Master then asked his student to count how many ponds there are. The student looked perplexed, because there was obviously only one pond. His Master saw the boys dilemma and began to explain.
Each individual fish has experienced its life from the point of view of itself. Through its one brain, and two eyes it has taken in the world. The next fish has done the same, however its life was very different from the first fish, therefore its experiences have shaped it differently. The next fish is different again, due to its experiences and so on, and so on throughout all eleven fish.
Each fish has experienced a different life and therefore interprets its world slightly differently to the fish next to it. Each fish has its own individual view of the world and consequently a different and absolutely unique view of other fish in the pond.
So if we go back to the scenario of me and you sitting alone in a room, there is more than one version of you that exists. There is the version that you have about yourself (based upon your experiences) and there is the version of you that I have created in my mind (based upon my experiences). And visa versa, there is my version of me that I have in my mind and then you have also created a version of me in your mind. Weird right?!
So back to the goldfish in the pond, each fish has its own impression of itself and a unique interpretation of every other fish. To make things even more weird, each fish has its own version of the pond, due to its life experiences. So the answer to the question: How many ponds does the student see? Each fish has its own interpretation of the pond, therefore the answer is that there are as many ponds as there are fish and each fish has a different version of each of the other fish created in its mind. That's a lot of fish and a lot of ponds!

So as we walk through our lives it is helpful to realise that your version of 'yourself' actually only exists within you. Every single person we meet will instantly create a version of you in their minds based upon their life experiences and also the available information at the time. Even the briefest glance or eye contact in the street, creates another version of you in the recipients mind, and you have a version of them too.
Having grasped that, we must acknowledge that everyone we know, holds a different version of us in their mind. Your mother will have an alternate version of you that is different from your fathers. So will all of your friends and so will every single person that has ever cast an eye upon you. There are possibly thousands of versions of you existing out there in the minds of others!

These 'versions of us' that have been created by others is further more influenced by things such as the clothing we wear, hairstyles, speech, social circle, social class, tattoos, our mental state... the variables may be infinite. The question to be considered here must be this: Based upon this insight, how accurate can any version of you be?
The 'You' in your mind may be far more informed than the thousands of alternate versions that exist out there, however it is absolutely unlikely that you know yourself fully and you will posses a biased opinion. Thus your 'version' of 'you' is flawed and inaccurate. From this we can say that every other version of you is also not the true you. How can it be? It is merely a version created by a persons experiences. A uniform to one person may signify authority and yet to another it may signify a threat. Thunder and lighting may mean danger to one person and to another it means excitement.
If we absolutely acknowledge that we are merely versions of each other existing within each other, then opinions of others should not hold too much value for us. We will care less that someone may dislike us for no apparent reason. The 'dirty look' from across the room will lack the power to wound us. When we nurture a goal, we may never again talk ourselves out of achieving it because of what others may think.
My advice is to lightly play with this idea. Let it roll around inside your mind. As you go about your life, keep this new insight in mind. Know that there are new (and just as inaccurate) versions of you being created every day. It is your responsibility to make sure that those versions of you hold but one quality: Authenticity.
By that I mean that you should always strive to conduct your life with love, kindness and truthfulness. This can only best be delivered from a place of authenticity. How can we be authentic? Read my previous three posts in which I speak about how being present in the moment, being in charge of your own ship, by taking full responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Never reactive, but instead responsive. To be responsible equals to be response-able or able to respond.

So take this knowledge with you and remember it for those times when we place a too higher importance on the opinions of others. Remember this when you set that goal and you notice that your mind is beginning to talk you out of it altogether. Remember this when others try to talk you out of pursuing your dreams. We are a thousand people to a thousand people and none of them are true, just like the goldfish in the pond.

I thank you greatly for reading this post. Let me know how things go in the comments. There is a video too, so please check it out. I will be back with another post very soon.

Always your Wing-Man,

Paul Jackson