I am equally as dumb as you in terms of the technic stuff. I use phone to upload all the time so I don't know how to use computer though.

Trust me to use the advanced tab, and only put in the text after the uploading is done.

For xcountrytravellers idea, you copy and paste to "advanced tab". And for basic tab, will be the same description as in what you type in advanced except without all those formatting command. Just words.

Editing I also use phone. But if you can do a good decent dtubesnap, you don't need editing at all and that save time.

Tag - you can use the versions of dtubesnap by nathanmars. Vlog also can. Actually there is no fixed rules for tags. Is up to you.
And if you are in some dtube-related communities like @dcooperation, @onelovedtube and @ddaily, you can use the tags too. But for tags, it is really up to you.

And when you log in dtube, remember DON'T use steem connect but use your posting key instead.

I hope the wifi issue will not hinder you from uploading though.

If your hands are shaky, it is always good to get some holder to hold the phone. I see others do it so prevent the shakiness. Or sth behind the phone as a ring to slip in your finger to stabilise the phone a bit.

Ask me again when you see me but that will be quite some time from now as we keep Jansen at home on year end to prevent him getting RSV (a virus which can cause danger to his lungs).