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RE: On "Fitting In"

in #dtube5 years ago (edited)

I think of "acceptance" as a basic human need. It's not as crucial as eating or breathing, but some level of it is essential to be any kind of healthy.

You can attribute completely irrational largely unquestionable cult practices(like Easter) to the need for acceptance.

I know what you mean. It's hard to be around friends and family who don't seem to have any interest in growth. They seem to just want to age comfortably.

One thing I try to remind myself of is that, whatever I'm working toward, even financial gains, I tell myself that the point of any endeavor is spiritual growth. Sadly, families are not usually the best place for that. They don't recognize it. They don't nurture it. My family wants to see me make 6 figures and have babies. That's about it. Neither of which are particularly interesting to me.

Just know you're the strong one Derrick. You're a very strong individual. Being selfish is easy. I don't think the strength of taking responsibility for one's actions is any different than the strength of surviving in the jungle.

Your family may not recognize your views or intentions but humans naturally recognize strength. We all react to it in different ways. Some people get quiet and watch, some people challenge it, some people are drawn to it.

Try to soak up the "acceptance" that your family does give you while you're with them. That's what I do. That's the place where I find the opportunities for more meaningful connections.

Don't worry about fitting in. Don't look for a crowded campfire, start the fire. Don't be the crowd surrounding the fire. Be the fire that draws and warms the crowd. You're a leader. Let everyone else fit in.

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