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# Once upon a time...

"When the night started off oh-so-well... the burglars came! Yep! Halfway through this #StoryMix I encounter a little black furry hound acting strange, so i pull the headphones off my head and receive an instant gratification from evil. SMASH BANG CRUNCH! I'm like, holy flim-flam! There's actually angry sounding people at the front door battering their way through the wood to gain access into the house!

I live in a big, old Victorian-style building which has been developed into apartments which are occupied by students, (posh students i might add...if there is such a thing?) most of the time. Unfortunately at this particular moment in time nobody was living upstairs and only one thin, puny, looks-like-she-had-just-come-out-the-womb fresh girl in the apartment which covers the back of the house.

Being the grumpiest, and the most determined-to-sort-shit-out person there was in this cubed territory, I decided to brave up and see what was going down!

Up until this point, my mind had been so far removed. We were enjoying daydreaming in the back of our world, mixing some tunes, creating #SoundArt, My ears and body had been transported into music land, where all these lovely sounds; vocals, melodies, funky beats, just came together and took over the whole of my brain, merging the two of us into one being. Concentration and pleasure was where I was at a moment ago, and now, on the far and opposite end of the dream pool, I was on full adrenaline, fight or die mode, hearing the sounds of glass barely avoiding a smashing and the woods breaking against such force.... but who or what the fuck is kicking our main front
door in?!

Of course, when in doubt, conjure up the worse case scenarios and learn to live with it, in this case it meant I had a mob of angry pitchfork soul-eatering angry shadows from hell that were clawing and banging at a pathetic wooden barrier not but 5 strides away from my home door! Do i open the door and be brave and YELL at the evil? Yes! ... But then what if they have knives, are you willing to go down fighting, meaning you could get stabbed, cut, and on any grim body parts? in an awkward struggle against, how many? 2, 3. or more? angry men? Would they rape? Would they slice my head straight off, leave me for dead? ... To be fair, twat's kicking in a door like this are proven to be weak minded compared to their apparent angry "hard" attitudes, i think IF they did get carried away and pull out a weapon, AND then injure me badly with it, they would shit themselves with panic and remorse in the moment of chaos than they would spit on my corpse and wave goodbye.

Of course all the deciding on what best to do boiled down to one thing first, call the POHLEECE INNIT!

Far removed from my magical happy mixland of smiley sounds and merry emoticons, I was stuck on the phone to the police, told to keep my door shut and not! to get involved. I observed 2 guys from my window, .... twatty looking guys, they looked like shit, big long green coat, dumb chav-hats and one wore weird baggy shorts, both off their head on skag. Great -_-

By now my body was so nervous, the guys had breached the main door. I could hear them outside MY door now... BANG BANG BANG BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG ... Those bangs were the loudest scariest noise a girl living alone can hear in this scenario... but only to a point.... because it was also fucking irritating and out of rhythm!

I wasn't brave enough to open my door to them for fear of being stabbed in the eye! funnily enough the first thing that i thought of, knife in eye, squish - so in my frustration, still with the police on the phone, I yelled at the dirty strangers and asked what the fuck they want? A dopey voice replied, giggley and shouty-like, told me to turn off the TV because it offends him. Digital things offend him. And they will be back in 5 minutes to take my TV. And then I could hear them walk off, and up the stairs to the unoccupied apartments.

More smashing as they now had door number 2 to breakthrough. The police were on their way. Apparently. I waited until i heard them break into the upstairs. As soon as they went inside I left my apartment to check out the damage... oddly enough, the main front door was nothing like it sounded like, if sound was to go by, it wouldve been smashed up, foot hole where it was kicked in, wood everywhere,.. but nope. It was shut and locked again! Sturdy or what! Old Victorians know how to build!

So all they did was batter the door enough to jolt the keypad-lock out. Lucky for the landlord i guess, but this meant I now had to stealthily and quietly tip toe past the stairs, the pinnacle point of "giving yourself away". I could hear lots of crashing upstairs and laughing, by now my fear was majorly reduced and i was more annoyed than anything else. I was having a good night before these drunken twats showed up.

The police were taking their time but i realised, if they are to get in without alerting the evils, i need to get that door open. And of course it's the squeakiest noisiest door ever to have existed at this point. In the silence of the early hours, only mumbles and clutterings from upstairs, a squeaky, rattling bongy-door is the hardest thing to stealthily open!

The worst stealth ever but still I had not aroused attention. I crept back into my apartment and waited. They had gone quiet upstairs, probably jacking up, I was a lot more accustomed to figuring these guys out at this stage, They are not masterminded evil criminals out for rape and slaughter over games of blood-fuelled chess, oh no, they were in fact, just two massively drunk and high dweeby type guys, who clearly have nowhere better to go and enjoy their shit buzz. Who really does this in their own free time, and for what they deem as 'fun'! Is there really nothing else any more fun out there to do on your friday night?? I am not sure if I was more annoyed at the cheek of them breaching our building, or the fact they both seem like dumb idiots and that i had 2 idiots roaming around above where i live... IDIOTS!

I was more annoyed at having to be involved at all by this point. The police eventually arrived, over an hour! later, and thanks to my lucky stealth door skillz - oh yeah, Im so playing the hero here get over it :D Everyone barged through easily and paraded in movie-mode, up the stairs and into attack land.

From below I could hear footsteps of one guy running towards the fire escape, and the moans and dumb chav-eh lestah accent from the other nob that the police did capture. I opened my door as I heard his voice get louder, he was clearly in handcuffs being escorted back down the stairs, mouthing off, i recognised his tones as the once-before scary evil that threatened me and my TV! (oh nooo, not the Teee Veee!)

This had been such a long, drawn out, nearly 2 hours in total, experience, for which, had no alternative escape-routes other than this exact scenario.... maybe the police could've been here quicker, FOR SURE! (the longest dawdlingest police response ever!), but either way I would have still endured hassle.... remember when I started this mix? How happy was I! It felt like years ago now. I cant even remember what my music story was about. I was stoned, annoyed, alerted, on edge, cold, tired and very pissed off that two unknown dumb boys were the cause of all my life's disruptions right now.

When I heard the weasley voice of evil saying he didn't do anything wrong, i yanked my door open and FIIIIIIRE mouth came out loud and angry! This was because my eyes finally had their first chance to match an image to the horror sounds of before.... and it was pathetic!!

To the point i now felt angry at myself! for being even remotely scared at any point because, this guy, was, A LOSER!. He was shorter than me, puny, my instant eye reaction upon seeing this moron-id little shithead was how I wish I knew this earlier instead of having to go with the soul ripping shadows attacking theory.

Fuming I was! My mouth ran off.

You fucking .... and .... and then you fucking did this... and who the fuck you think you are you skaggy little man coming in my home causing this shit etc... until the policelady (Lady!) told me forcefully to get back inside my patch.

I yelled some more abuse and stomped back inside. I was glad i saw his face. Pathetic. Annoying his mate got away tho! But when the police take over an hour to respond (which I'm sure isn't normal btw, just unlucky??), what do you expect.

The funny thing is, they got away with it in the end! Well, perhaps that's not funny... i actually didn't laugh either so I don't know why I bothered wasting the time to mention it was funny when it wasn't, let alone the time Ive spent writing down the explanation for why it isn't funny... I could've just not mentioned it and all of this paragraph would've been avoided.... but Hey! Who would be so silly! :D

But yeah because the other shit got away, the arrested guy just claimed being off his head on heroin as his grand excuse for not remembering anything, therefore, mentally he cant be accountable for the distress caused.
And because the police were late they seemed to just want the quickest way to get this out of their problems.

DUMB.

But there truly is a funny part (i think!), as every tale needs some comedy, my friend @stoopid hadn't answered his phone all night after I tried calling to ask for his help at one point (as he lives nearby), so i'd sent a text telling him I'm being burgled etc and summed up the aftermath to him via text, hoping when he reads it he will call asap to help make everything go back to normal...but it turned out, @stoopid thought that I was talking about GTA! (Grand Theft Auto!) life! and not real actual life! It sounded so dramatic he said, that he could only imagine I was stomping about GTA world with my guns and foes, and I was just high and excited about the game, was the presumption.

So! to conclude, my house was broken into on the night I was making this mix, the police made it take ages and ruined the finale, my friend thought i was just playing GTA, and I guess the actual, funniest thing overall is, (ho ho ho) i have no idea what story this mix was originally about! Every time i hear it, it's just adaptable to which memories it chooses, IT!.... CHOOSES! to host.

So bizarre! to be emotionally bossed around externally...by a past existing you! I find this ever fascinating, especially because i made the damn mix, i must have heard it so many times by now, and yet, i never remember what tune's next, but I always enjoying listening along remembering as i go...certainly it is proving one amusing way to time travel.
only know how to go backwards, but it's interesting just how many different ways one can look back at the past and conclude completely different journeys through the same pieces of sound-sets." - @grottbags

THE END

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