Who said you are supposed to survive? (Day 34 of 100 -- Poetry challenge)

yahialababidi (68) 6 years ago

Good stuff, @mamadini, especially appreciated parting advice to surrender (since to struggle is to get further ensnared...)

Echoes of Rumi's prescription (and, all mystics, really):

"Be melting snow.
Wash yourself of yourself."

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mamadini (56) 6 years ago

Surrender is such an important part of the greater work (and it is work).

Oh my, Rumi... <3

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yahialababidi (68) 6 years ago

🙏🏼♥️

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liverussian (48) 6 years ago

I've noticed that in the text you wrote "did you forgot", but in the audio it's fine. Just a heads up, after seven days we can't edit anymore )

I read it first, and had a brighter impression, a lighter one, if I can say so. But then I listened to it and it had another colour, it felt heavier, more synthetic, maybe that's because of the effects, ahaha) sounded like a voice from the future, the scary one...

mamadini (56) 6 years ago

Thank you for the typo heads up! <3

I like your differing perceptions of the piece, it really illustrated how one can change the whole effect from one medium to another.

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liverussian (48) 6 years ago (edited)

That's your talent! When a piece can have so many angles, that's just impossible to express with words, that's amazing! Your work is not flat, it lives and develops in the souls of your readers.
I don't have this talent, and I admire you guys!

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mamadini (56) 6 years ago

::blush::

Thank you for these lovely words. <3

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tygertyger (65) 6 years ago

Loved this so much sister Niish <3 Although I tend to dig my heels in and refuse to surrender LOL ;) I fear it is pathological ...

mamadini (56) 6 years ago

hehe, I totally understand that.

Thank you for the love. <3

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geekorner (58) 6 years ago (edited)

Love it. Missed your "proper" spoken word pieces, in your style, so much <3

Alliteration, rhyme, repetition. The dark hint of intonation and content. Everything I loved when I first listened to your soundcloud collection, here again, in a new piece.

mamadini (56) 6 years ago

::blush::

This is the shortest comment from you I've seen. hehe

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2 votes

geekorner (58) 6 years ago

Well, I could've started by the soft and intermittent rhyme of "Decay" and "day", and later with "forget" and "dent," it might be accidental, but it adds to the tone, or the repetition of "bone by bone, a pile of bones," or the alliteration you are fond of, where we follow the bones with blood.

Those things, or how you can read alliteration even when it is not directly in the text is what makes reading your so-called plain voice, because it is anything but plain, so pleasurable for me to listen to.

I could speak of the darkly-tinged text, with the image of the pile of bones, dry of blood, of the grave one rises from and goes into again, of the flutter of dreams and sanity and self.

I could speak of all these things, and many more, such as the loveliness of "the remnants of the day," which is an image I am fond of being switched here with "The remnants of/in decay," and the death of the day, and of notions of what is left when you let go of everything you think you are, and what do you have left, at that point, when you leave behind the corporeal body, of your attachment to things, to names, to old selves?

I could speak of all these things.

Or I could just let people listen to the piece and enjoy it.

(So why do I write so much on other pieces? Because one can enjoy things in many different ways, and because this piece, after I longed for it for so long? I didn't really want to say anything more. Also, I waited for the lyrics to be posted.)

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6 votes

prydefoltz (65) 6 years ago

Great write ... loved the spoken word. Mamadini:)

mamadini (56) 6 years ago

Thank you, dear. :)

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