THE AFRICAN DAISY (UGONMA) {An originally spoken Dtube poetry} [day 8]
Your caramel richness is like the dying embers of the sunset 🌇
on a beautiful evening weather.
it's like the savouring colors of lather from coffee.
yet scintillating as the rising of the moon that illuminates youth in primal act of love.
Ugonma you're the African daisy that lurks amongst the plains valley.
the dripping fountain ⛲ that graces the alley.
Standing edified as the pyramids of Gaza.
Your beauty is like a plantation of smiles with purple hibiscus.
with blinking enamels like the winks of a diamond.
Ugonma the African daisy.
of the coral bells, shimmering like subset peeping into the forest.
and bringing forth light into the bald head of men.
Ugonma.
You're a sweetness that superseeds the sweetness of wine.
You're intoxicating, a mirror for men to see into the meaningness of profounding lushness.
yet gentle as a blade of grass shining in brass
Ugonma the African daisy.
that serenades the plains of Ethiopia.
dressed as the nothing wearing the the pride of a peacock.
you're like the rhythmic sweetness emanating from the drums deep in the woods.
Beyonds the lands of our fathers, far far away
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POETIC NOTES
THE AFRICAN DAISY (UGONMA) is a poem that talks about the beauty of a young African woman.
The poem sets away from modernization, it's sets in an African soil, the beauty described is modest, pure and entirely natural.
The starting line uses "caramel" of course this is a clue to the skin colour of the woman being portrayed, and "Ugonma" is a south eastern Nigerian name for a woman who is beautiful.
In other words 'Ugonma" means paragon of beauty, and the poem uses metaphors and similes to convey an African idea into a written poem.
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ORIGINALLY WRITTEN, COMPILED & SPOKEN
BY ME @JOSEDICCUS
15/3/2018
Image originally owned by me.
► Listen on DSound
► Listen from source (IPFS)
This was a beautiful piece @josediccus and I'm happy you also included the audio :-) What was the background music? I read it first without hearing it. The music was a bit more melancholy than I expected! It made it seem a bit of a lament... perhaps due to Ugonma's distance from the writer, or due to the realization of her beauty's limited nature due to the boundaries of physicality?
"Plantation of smiles with purple hibiscus" stood out to me as a surprising and vivid image. Actually, this poem was practically littered with turns of phrase that made me pay closer attention! Fantastic job at avoiding the many cliches that are often used to describe feminine beauty.
A couple of more mechanical notes, where it says "subset" in the third stanza, I think it's a misspelling of sunset? Also "superseeds" ==> "supersedes" in the fourth stanza.
Wonderful flowing phrases here, my friend. One of my favorites of yours. Cheers!
Yes @d-pend it's quite a poem that takes turn to praise a beauty, a practical beauty from the eastern part of my country
I'm really glad you that you spotted out those mistakes, I never noticed them though, thank you.
Well yeah the music was melancholic a bit, it's because of the pattern I which I pronounce the words I didn't want to do a fast paced song, so that every word I say will actually sink in
I improvised on the song and used it for another purpose, I'm so glad you dropped the lengthy comment, it certainly made my day.
dị ebube...
I'm hoping that say wonderful and in an appropriate way. and that I am in the same dialectic as Ugonma.
This porm has to be listened to, to be fully appreciated. Absolutely beautiful work.
_I looked up a few different words for beautiful, but I was worried I might use an inappropriate one and come across as a little over familiar 😂. Your spoken words are divine.
Wow thank you for your total appreciations, you really did a nice search on that one there and tell you what? It match just do perfectly.
I tried to allow my emotion run on that piece I felt bad that I didn't even receive any feedback for the piece,
You can't imagine how I feel reading your comment it's amazing, I'm so happy you like it.