@gowersgirl - I implore you to not blame yourself. You did not stick the joint in his hand, or snort whatever. You did not make him quit college. You did not make him steal. If there's an important lesson that I've learned, it is this: You must take care of yourself FIRST. As any stewardess says before the plane takes off, "in case of emergency, put your oxygen mask on first before you help the person next to you." You can do NOTHING if you are incapacitated. Visit Nar-Anon. Speak with someone IMMEDIATELY. They can help you arm yourself with tools to effectively help your son. Don't go it alone. http://www.nar-anon.org/ Chin up now. You've got a whole community who want to support you.