Success and the Mindset

in dropintheocean •  27 days ago

I struggled with how to approach the subject of success until I started thinking about a friend of mine and our differing mindsets. This friend is around my age and a journalist. She’s a talented writer even though she doesn’t believe it. She doesn’t believe a lot of things. Let me tell you a bit more about her.

I’m going to call her Lena which is sort of close to her actual first name. Lena has spent most of her adult life as a journalist working for small local papers. The landscape for those papers has become smaller and smaller over the last twenty years. Smaller papers struggle, they get bought out by larger media companies and then downsized before eventually being closed.

Lena found herself out of a job and at a stage of her life where she wasn’t willing to uproot herself and move to another area to get work. Myself, and a few others tried to convince her that she could establish a freelance writing income and be her own boss. In Lena’s mind, she could only be successful if she had a job and received a regular income.

She believes this so firmly she extends that definition to others when she’s talking to them. She calls me on occasion and inevitably will come around to the “what are you doing for work” query. When I respond with writing here on Steem and my other projects, her invariable response is, “so you don’t have a job, eh?”

It irritates her when I respond with “Yes, I do. I work for me.”

I’ve had to realize we have two different success mindsets. Hers is set with a job is success and the better it pays, the more successful she is. She was raised in a home where dad worked for others and didn’t consider the possibility of being self-employed.

I was raised in a home where my parents worked for others initially and then struck out to run their own business. For them, success was working for them self and that has rubbed off on some of the family. As long as the business could pay the bills, they felt they were successful. If the business made enough to grow their wealth, they were even happier. They worked harder, but, they had the satisfaction of saying it was their’s

Financially, I just get by each month. My goal is to do better and to create more passive income. At the moment, I consider that I can pay my bills each month to be success. I can choose my hours, my projects and even where I write. To me, that is success. I am choosing what I do.

Another important aspect of success for me is my sense of community. If I can contribute in a way that helps and supports the journey of others, I consider that to be a success.

Others, like Lena, might disagree but at the end of the day, success has to be what matters to me. If it matters to others it’s not my success, it’s theirs.


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Financially, I just get by each month. My goal is to do better and to create more passive income. At the moment, I consider that I can pay my bills each month to be success. I can choose my hours, my projects and even where I write. To me, that is success. I am choosing what I do.
@shadowspub

For me, financial success is widening my range of choices.
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that is always a good approach. The more options we give ourselves the better. That is one of the many things I like about working for me, I am only limited by my willingness to try new options.

I agree, success is an individual asset defined only by the individual. Well put Shadow.

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sure is and we get to add to those assets through our own choices rather than someone else deciding. I love that freedom.

This was absolutely fabulous - nodded my head throughout. Some of the points (that I made already live in DITO to you) hehehehe really stood out to me

It does take a long time for us to get there... but when we do - oh! sweet sweet success!!! :)

Great post Shadows!

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if we could give our 20 year old self the lessons we have learned, what would we become eh.

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oh that's an easy answer!
Whales.

we would be whales!

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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LOL true enough ... smarty pants

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hahahahaha that's not me! that's @mimismartypants.

she has the smartest pants around! LOL

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Big LOL's @dreemsteem! These pants are getting me into trouble again!
Ironically enough I'm thrilled you tagged me in this post; otherwise I might have missed it! And This is a subject I'm pretty passionate about.

@shadowspub, I totally get your frustration with your friend. I have been Freelancing and working on my startup for 2 years now, and I still get family members and friends questioning what I do all day and if I do really have a job. I have even had some of these people offer to find me a job at their company, and I'm often surprised at how they react to my response - which is usually "No Thanks, why would I want to put up with the bullshit of having a boss again?"

People are strange like that. They have been indoctrinated by society to stick to a system. Finish school, go to university, qualify and get a fancy office job with a fancy title. I think often the pride of the title is what drives them. It's a direct extension of themselves! A way to add more meaning to their existence! Because "Journalist for fancy paper", sounds much more forthcoming than "Freelance Writer", while said freelance writer could be earning more than you anyway.

I think the influence stems both from the environment growing up and to the person's personality itself. I know successful freelancers and entrepreneurs that come from different types of environments. However, what sets the successful ones apart from the ones that quit and quickly look for a job again is their personality and the way they deal with tasks. You need to be a dynamic string person to cut it in the freelance world, you have to pitch for work, be approachable and articulate as well as be able to deal with the day to days of running a business. The admin, the accounts, and getting the work done as well. Not everybody is an original leader that can thrive in this environment. Some people see themselves as leaders, but they are only strong enough to be the general in someone else's army.

But I'm getting carried away, this literally just turned out to be a post within your post! What I meant to say is, "I know exactly how you feel, and don't let the haters get you down, you do you!"

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I was thinking while i was reading this would make a great post @mimismartypants ... your analysis is spot on

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Lol thanks @shadowspub!! I guess its too late now!! Comment is lost on the blockchain!

Posted using Partiko Android

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this is why i love @mimismartypants! hehehehe

cuz she can laugh like the best of them.

and she can also pontificate with the best of them ;) hehehehehe

I talked about you on the interview hehehe

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Lol pontificate hey!!! Sometime i wear mu big girl pants thats makes me slightly opinionated!!

You deeeed?? What did you say lol!!

You are correct, for a person to be successful they must first define success for themselves. Not how others (the world) defines it for them. We forget money is only one of many ways of defining success. Happiness I believe to be the best.

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definitely, happiness is an important measure of success and one that absolutely must be defined by each person. If someone else defines your happiness how are you ever going to experience it?

You are so right. I think of you as a very successful person just because of those reasons........but then again I am kinda biased. GRIN

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Well a little bit biased but at the same time, I see you as successful even if you don't always believe it yourself.

I find it so interesting how different people view jobs and success. As a whole, we need to people that are willing to work jobs just as much as we need people to go out and create jobs themselves. I think the irony of your friend's stance, is that she wouldn't have a job if it weren't for someone else starting a company and working for themselves. Would she consider the founder of her company to be jobless?

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that actually would be rather interesting if she currently had a job. She's been living on an inheritance and unable to replace the job she had due to the shrinking industry she's in.

Your point is well taken. There is room and a need for both mindsets.