Connection
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Most of us have some kind of place we call home. A place where we like to return because we feel there is a connection between us and that specific location. Generally we attach the idea of home to family and childhood friends.
When you are constantly on the road or when you live abroad, it’s hard to keep in touch with those who you care about. Thus spending time with family or old friends is something that happens only during the holidays. Basically once or twice per year. Unless they decide to come see you, wherever you are.
That in case you didn't get cheap on the airplane tickets and decided to postpone visiting them somewhere during the following year. I guess it all depends on the relationship you are having with your family/ friends.
Throughout the years you could not help yourself from noticing that somehow that vibrant connection you shared with your friends is not that strong anymore. You missed them, they missed you and when you finally meet, you realize there’s something missing.
The dynamic has changed. Most of their conversation topics are money related while you are trying to tell them about being zen and your self-exploration experiences.
After couple of hours together you realize that within the past years nothing has changed for them. They still aim to get a higher status, scale up their lifestyle and step over others to make it happen.
As a good friend, you lend them an ear while they talk about their struggle. The moment you dare to suggest a different approach to the situation, you are faced with condescension. You are being reminded that living abroad turned you into a different person that has lost the ability to comprehend the local political scene and the “way things work down” there.
Life went on for everyone. They married, raised kids, faced “real life problems”, whereas you “enjoyed the perks of living abroad, travelling the world." Once in a way you are called "crazy" for "dragging" your child with you wherever you went.
You call yourself a nomad, while they refer to you as a "gypsy". Somehow that remark reminds you of the days when you were young and used to have lots of fun together. Those memories are the reason why you still go visit them whenever you get a chance.
Everyone is under the impression your life has been only a bed of roses. That’s because you never asked for help. What would have been the point of saying anything about it if it was out of their reach? Why alerting them when there was nothing that they could have done for you? Pointless!
More you listen to them, more clear it gets that they have no idea who you are. They probably still don't know who they are. While being stuck within their bubble, they failed to notice that you have different interests. That your goals are not money driven and that you spend more time playing with their kids than actually talking to them.
The saddest thing is that this scenario is on replay for the past ten years. They even failed to acknowledge they wasted a decade running after money, neglecting their health and family. Their children grew and show no respect, the real estate bubble burst and the global economy threw their hopes into the gutter.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to re steemit or up vote it!
Please leave your feedback in the comments, I would love to hear your thoughts!
@2018 LaviPicu aka The Lyme Poet. All rights reserved.
As someone who dragged their family all across this world I can relate . In 20 yrs never has anyone ever visited but I was always expected to visit them . I could go on but I'll just leave it as it was . :)
We have been enriched be the experience and that's all that counts . We did not live in a bubble or at least not one as small as they did . My kids grew up with a respect not only for themselves but for others also .
It is encouraging to hear that you were able to do it for so long. Glad to see that it worked well. As for the bubble, my one shrinks each day, as I learn daily something new ;0)
Steemit here has my jumping and constant growth . just need to figure out how to format post :)
I felt this right away. There's something about not being understood. Why bother speak when others cannot relate? A lot of people just think with their one-track-mind, living life as it was fed to them. Unfortunately, they are not only unable to listen to you, but unable to listen to themselves. It drives me insane knowing the world is mostly full of people like that. There are very few people I can genuinely connect with who are not possessed by the spirits of money and status.
"unable to listen to you, but unable to listen to themselves" - you said right there! Until they will reach that point where their main concern will be their inner peace, nothing will change.
Nice post i havent seen my family in about 5years...😭😭
Thank you for stopping by! I hope you'll be able to see your family soon.
I so want to take out family on the road and be that wandering nomad traveling to different parts of the world. Most don't get the appeal of this and my Wife is one of those that just can't see dragging the kids around like this. Still working on her and my 2 year plan to get out the door.
Your post reminds me she isn't the only one out there that doesn't get how or why someone would want to escape the rat race.
I hope your plan will work out. The kids will have the most to gain from it. Exposing them to different cultures and environments will have a great impact on them, offering them a better understanding of life.
I feel it will be beneficial too. Hope that we can make it work!
I relate to this 100%. Remember that those friends , are your friends just because it was a time when you've been kept together by circumstances, and that's the only reason 😅. Some people doesn't have the chance to see a different way of living, prize your time and use it for what really matters 😉.
Nu are rost sa vorbești urechilor surde ! 😁
I agree with you. Though letting go is an acquired taste. Thanks for stopping by!
I've experienced this on a smaller scale... When we travel to places where we live simpler lives with genuine people.... That rocks us to our core. I suppose some people can leave that experience behind and come "back" to their reality. For us, it always leaves us changed.
And it's very difficult to explain that change to someone who hasn't felt it.
But let me encourage you to not give up :)
Keep your peace - But do share. It's how the world changes a little at a time. Give them small sips. Tiny peeks into your world. Maybe a story here and there.
You never know when that moment will hit for the disconnection to become a reconnection. ♥️
They probably won't seek it from.you because they don't know exactly what it is they're looking for... but you have the richer experience. Along your journeys, you've probably had a lot of slow continual changing inside your heart... And it took time. It takes more time with someone who hasn't seen what you've seen.
But someday, maybe when they've realized that their life has left them wanting... You'll be the one they come to talk to.
If you can, keep your side of the connection open 😊
You might find old friends there again someday. Then again... You might not. But you have control over your side of the connection, sweet friend.
I hope you find more true connections in the coming years! 😊
What a wonderful comment! "disconnection to become a reconnection. ♥️" that is a great advice. I always kept my side of the connection open, hoping that one day we will be able to "feel" again. That's why I kept going back.
On the other hand, I have been truly blessed to meet new ones who helped me open my eyes and see life through a different lens.
Absolutely!!! It's so refreshing to have friends who "get" you!!! It's a gift. I believe you will always appreciate that-and more- with friends who can understand without the explanation! Ohhhhh, they feel like 'home' to me 😊
But maybe one of those old friends will still surprise you hehehehe
We never know.... 😉
Strange how time wears us out. How distance pulls us apart!
I would add the goals and values to this, as we run in different directions, looking for different things.
True. And it comes down to the fact that life brings several pressures, and exposes us to several other circumstances.
Ultimately, we are influenced, sometimes voluntarily, other times involuntarily, to question what we have known, and believed before, and to adopt new perspectives, new goals.
Something I've been thinking a lot about lately, but it shows thanks to your post and the comments that it's not just me! haha Thanks for sharing. I think we have to pursue our lives in the way we feel right. I think you are doing that so stay strong :) Keep up the good work @lymepoet.
Good to know that we are not alone ;0) Thanks for stopping by!