I hope my dreams aren't psychic...

I was harshly awoken to my asshole of a phone alarm after a solid 4.5 hours of sleep. That, is not my gripe. As the day has worn on, I've remembered my dreams, which were, needless to say, out of the ordinary. In one, I'm having my bachelorette party, not in Vegas but in Chattanooga, TN. There's a fun idea if I ever heard one. We went to a bar and had a table but the owner and manager kept treating us like dirt and finally used the N word to describe my friend and told us to pay and get out... and we PAID. Yea, like that would happen in real life. Me, my bff Suzie and my niece Joyce would all be in jail for starting a bar fight. So anyway, then I'm in the shower at the bar, cause hey, every bar should have a shower, but it's not on and I'm clothed (I'm hiding maybe?) and I'm talking to a social worker about the staff of this bar. She looked like a tall skinny Hillary Clinton. Yea....

Moving on to another dream, I'm all psyched cause there is rhubarb in the fridge so I run out to my backhoe, cause you know, who doesn't have one of those lying around, and proceed to dig at dirt to either plant the rhubarb or dig up hidden rhubarb. I'm not quite sure, but either way my (now ex-) husband was surely against it cause I was ripping up his grass which was his babies. Like he was treating as though I was actually killing babies.

Then, I'm drinking a pepsi in some dingy apartment that I apparently live in, and out of the can crawls a cockroach. It takes off as I back away, then I'm peering at it from under the table and it looks at me. STRAIGHT UP LOOKS AT ME. So, I give it the finger. Then? It gives me the finger BACK. So I duece it. So does the cockroach. Then it smiles, and turns INVISIBLE. I freak out cause I know it's going to get me. Then it dawns on me, why in HELL was I drinking a Pepsi?!

There were more, but you get the point.