killvrill (Jul 24, 2014 22:13:14 GMT -5)
Talking with others may or may not be a good thing. It depends on the dynamics. I would be very cautious about trying to help anybody until you are stable.When you say that the suicide programming kicks in, can I assume that you are getting impulses to self-harm in some way?The only way that I know to begin to get a grip on this sort of thing is what I call "self-talk".When a person is programmed, the programmer gives the programee and alters instructions in the form of "YOU will".To "reprogram", it will not work to speak to yourself in first person: example - "I'm OK". You must use third person to reprogram.Here is the type of things I've said and continue to say to myself:"You will not respond to tones. You will not respond to triggers." "Your alters will not respond to tones. Your alters will not respond to triggers.""You will not do anything to cause cause harm to yourself.""Your alters will not do anything to cause cause harm to yourself.""You will recognize when anything or anyone is intentionally or unintentionally provoking a trigger and you willignore it and remove yourself as soon as possible."You get the gist of it.Also, I do the re-assurance self-talk:"You are alright.""You are OK.""You are safe.""You can deal with this."And some positive self-talk:"You are doing a good job.""You are handling things very well.""You've done a good job and I'm proud of you."And some re-integration self-talk: (DON'T DO THIS UNTIL YOU'VE SPENT SEVERAL WEEKS AT LEAST ACTIVELY DOING THE ABOVE)REPEAT(DON'T DO THIS UNTIL YOU'VE SPENT SEVERAL WEEKS AT LEAST ACTIVELY DOING THE ABOVE)REPEAT(DON'T DO THIS UNTIL YOU'VE SPENT SEVERAL WEEKS AT LEAST ACTIVELY DOING THE ABOVE)"You and you alters all get along very well." "You and you alters share information." "You and you alters want to work together." "You and you alters look out for each other." etc.This is work. And it requires a continuous effort on your part. Use common sense. When you know for certain that interacting with certain people or placing yourself in certain situations makes you edgy, avoid those things if at all possible. If you will be heading into such a situation and can't avoid it, then use preliminary self-talk:"You will not react to ____.""Your alters will not react to ____."Note that triggers aren't just words. They can be pictures, colors, sounds and scents. When it comes to engaging with others they can be hand gestures, someone walking out of the room while you are speaking, etc. Usually they like to use some sort of rude passive-aggressive behavior to set you off.Again. This is WORK. And it requires determination. But keep it up and one day you'll realize that you did not react to certain situations as you would have previously reacted to them, and that you are consciously more aware of when you are being triggered.Give yourself a pat on the back and keep going.You must never allow yourself to indulge in self-pity. Instead, get good and self-righteously angry.Be determined to break their grip and reclaim what is rightfully yours. Be kind to yourself..you deserve it.Hope this helps.
killvrill (Jul 24, 2014 22:47:57 GMT -5)
Regarding sleep:Insomnia has always been and continues to be problem for me. A quick google search and an hour's worth of reading will give you a feel for the deleterious effects of sleep deprivation. Very stressful on the body and decreases your ability to cope during the day.If you are able to sleep, then sleep. Don't ever wake yourself unnecessarily in the middle of the night.Before you go to sleep do some self-talk:"You will be able to handle any situation during REM sleep" etc.Sleep well
killvrill (Jul 25, 2014 15:01:08 GMT -5)
You're very welcome. What I gave you though, is also meant as a guideline for you to tweak as needed.Never confront your programmer/handler. They will either be unaware of what they are doing or (more likely) they know exactly what they are doing and they don't give a damn. It is also futile to use reason or logic for the same reasons. Again, avoid all contact when possible. When contact is unavoidable, prepare mentally. Instruct yourself to not engage and not to react. When around them maintain a continuous inner dialog. I might say something to myself such as "You know that this person deliberately says and does ____ to provoke you. You will not react when they start doing ____. You will no longer 'play their game'. You will not give them permission to trigger you. You will not give them the satisfaction of triggering you. etc etc.First let me say that I have not had therapy for reintegration. About 15 years ago I developed extreme insomnia (above my normal baseline insomnia) and anxiety that resulted in substance abuse. At that point I ultimately ended up with the diagnosis of ADHD and PTSD. (What I always found strange was that although I am usually a very logical, practical, solution-based person, I did not seek help. As you will see below, that was part of the programming)I ended up with a psychiatrist who I believe is one of the few competent and caring psychiatrists that exist. He immediately put me at ease when he reassured my that when one has PTSD, you NEVER go near the traumatic memories until you are in a safe and stable situation. This means that you have a solid job situation or income and that you have a strong family and/or emotional support base. Without those, you are not in the position to dig up trauma. Well, I don't have those things and am likely to never have them. Additionally, before you discuss a traumatic event, you discuss the fact that you will discuss it. And you do this for several weeks. You may spend four weeks planning what you will discuss and when you will discuss it. Not that you would spend an entire 45 min session on it but it does get discussed multiple times prior to occurring.Prior to meeting my psychiatrist, I had been talking to a clinical social worker who insisted that I MUST share some memories in order to "heal". Feeling threatened and coerced, I started to share something traumatic. The next thing I knew, I had jumped up and run to the door. Once I reached the door I 'got a grip' and ran back to my chair only to run to the door again. I was now having flashbacks and was in a full blown panic-attack. I couldn't even speak. I glanced at my therapist and saw that he was literally ashen. He looked terrified. I couldn't express it at that moment but I was FURIOUS, because I realized that he was not qualified and did not know what he was dealing with and had no business insisting that I must share. He didn't know how to handle it. Well, it should have never happened. I had to drive home through rush-hour traffic while still in a panic attack. I wasn't even capable of recognizing how out-of-it I was and that I had no business getting in the car. He was too incompetent to stop me. The drive took an hour and a half and to this day I don't know how I managed without having an accident. It took me at least a solid week to even return to my baseline after that.My point in sharing this is that you must proceed with caution. In a ideal world, I suppose, that digging up traumatic events and "processing" them is helpful, but I question even if that is helpful. You mind buries things for a reason. I suggest you deal with what you know. In time, other things will surface when they are ready to surface (if ever). To finish up my story, over time it became apparent to both my psychiatrist and myself that there was a little more going on besides ADHD and PTSD. We were both aware that I occasionally switched. However, as I mentioned, I am no where near having the kind of stability in my life that one must have before attempting to dig up memories. OK, here is some more info. I do not want to turn this forum into a link farm so I have replaced the 'dots' with an equal sign.The two mental exercises at the bottom here are something I recommend. Grateful for your question because I had stopped doing these a noticed a difference when I did them. Basically, they help your brain recognise what thoughts are yours vs what thoughts are not originating from you.Advice on Psychotronics/Alien Protection from Willy & Andy15- Exercise a lot and sweat. Very important to ground negative energies from your body17- Maintain deep vigilance on your thought process and realize that many of your thoughts are not your own. Dismiss with determination all thought that are against your own self benefit. The rational mind is a big liar and a tool for the dark forces. Do no believe all you think; be more heart-centered than mind-centered19- Water is magical. Drink a gallon of “distilled water” everyday and when you pee, put out the thought that negative energy is coming out of your body. Program your drinking water by praying on top of the water with great feeling and then drink it. If you are not religious, say " beautiful water" over the water before drinking.20- Only act upon feelings of love, and peace, never in rage or anger. Observe your feelings and be aware that they are not your enemies, rather, they are guidelines that show you your state of mind.These are the points that I recommend, except for the prayer part. I now view religion as a control mechanism, nor do I "bring in light". That's another trap - the light is already within. We are not un-evolved - we are switched off. Just my take.However, the the rest is important. Exercise and maintain a connection with your body. Stay hydrated. And maintain an awareness of your thoughts, intents and actions.Pulled this from another page . It is spot-on. Must develop "strong personal will":A “strong personal will” is the best antidote and that a person should practice any exercise that increases their will power, like trying to sit while having the knees touching each other for a long time.AVOID THE TELLY! Not good. Can pull you into a trance within 4 seconds.Dates to be aware of:A very good article that discusses how to "talk" to your alters:A good overview:Another good overview:
ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/articles/common-programs-observed-in-survivors-of-satanic-ritualistic-abuse/
Self-Injury ProgrammingLethal ProgrammingCult Control ProgrammingTherapy Interference Programming3). Miscellaneous Self-Injury ProgramsTypes of specific self-injury programs are as numerous as there are ways to injure oneself. Besides being conditioned to cut and burn, we have also routinely seen programs designed to create within the survivor: (1) “accident” proneness, (2) failure to eat, (3) ingestion of injurious materials and poisons, (4) failure to sleep, (5) failure to take needed medication, and (6) the intentional breaking of one’s own bones — particularly hands, fingers, arms and legs.Regarding my situation, I now understand that I had survived Lethal programming and had fallen back to Self-Injury programming. I wasn't eating and I wasn't sleeping and I wasn't doing anything to get help.I do not belong to the survivorship=org forum, nor am I recommending it. The above links contain a multitude of links. You can explore them but proceed with caution. I have personally decided to opt-out of such forums. For me, it was counterproductive. It ends up stirring up too much and you can spend to too much time trying to support people who won't support themselves. Once again, this takes WORK.There is no magic cure. The bottom line is that you need to exercise to remain connected to your body, do the best that you can to eat healthy food and remain hydrated, avoid television at all costs, and most importantly,be aware of your thoughts 24/7. Again and again again, ask yourself what are you thinking and feeling and why are you thinking and feeling it. Practice mental self-discipline. This is a lifestyle that you will need to adopt.Good luck.
otis (Jul 30, 2014 16:08:32 GMT -5)
Don, you say you want publicly announced, that you won't be killed coming to the ROME.Isn't that paranoid? What are you scared of? What is the difference between going from Halifax to Florida and going flom Florida to ROMA (Backwards it reads amor).IMO YOU WASTE YOURS AND OUR TIME STAYING IN FLORIDA. : Amadeus. : Moisl.What do people expect you to do in Rome or the Vatcan btw.Oh and if you feel like have a look at jabberwacky.comOPERATION MEGADEATH!
celine (Aug 2, 2014 19:33:29 GMT -5)
Donald Marshall shared a link Russia does it too.
beforeitsnews.com/spies-and-intelligence/2014/08/russia-exposes-u-s-secretly-forced-brain-chip-mind-control-weapon-2446572.html?utm_medium=facebook-post&utm_term=http%3A%2F%2Fb4in.info%2Fdbzs&utm_source=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2F&utm_campaign=&utm_content=awesmsharetools-fbshare-small
Russia Exposes U.S. Secretly Forced Brain-Chip Mind Control Weapon | Spies and Intelligencebeforeitsnews.comSecretly forced human brain implants connected to c
celine (Aug 27, 2014 5:49:24 GMT -5)
Cosimo Laporta posted a linkBrice Taylor and Ted GundersonDonald Marshall She was clones at the time...Greg Hallier Lindberg Crazeeeeeee stuff she tells.....Cosimo Laporta It's amazing that a cia agent backs up her storyDonald Marshall Lol not really. Donald Marshall He's just a part of it. Tempa Westbrook Yo, interesting they're showing this on a mainstream TV, what's the catch I wonder?Donald Marshall XD! I dunno mang.Tempa Westbrook a-Yo Don, you're getting savvy with Puerto Rican, mang, lol.Read more:
donaldmarshall.proboards.com/thread/173/messages-interest-dons-facebook-friends?page=71&scrollTo=11472#ixzz3BaXK7oQv
celine (Oct 1, 2014 18:45:05 GMT -5)
Donald Marshall shared a link.
mind-computer.com/2013/12/20/billion-dollar-race-soviet-union-vied-with-us-in-mind-control-research/
Billion dollar race: Soviet Union vied with US in ‘mind control research’ Published time: December 17, 2013 23:59 Competing with the US during the Arms Race,...Velma Lewis Just had funny picture of Obama and Putin as spirits/entities even after death, still fighting and bickering.
killvrill (Jul 24, 2014 22:13:14 GMT -5)
Talking with others may or may not be a good thing. It depends on the dynamics. I would be very cautious about trying to help anybody until you are stable.When you say that the suicide programming kicks in, can I assume that you are getting impulses to self-harm in some way?The only way that I know to begin to get a grip on this sort of thing is what I call "self-talk".When a person is programmed, the programmer gives the programee and alters instructions in the form of "YOU will".To "reprogram", it will not work to speak to yourself in first person: example - "I'm OK". You must use third person to reprogram.Here is the type of things I've said and continue to say to myself:"You will not respond to tones. You will not respond to triggers." "Your alters will not respond to tones. Your alters will not respond to triggers.""You will not do anything to cause cause harm to yourself.""Your alters will not do anything to cause cause harm to yourself.""You will recognize when anything or anyone is intentionally or unintentionally provoking a trigger and you willignore it and remove yourself as soon as possible."You get the gist of it.Also, I do the re-assurance self-talk:"You are alright.""You are OK.""You are safe.""You can deal with this."And some positive self-talk:"You are doing a good job.""You are handling things very well.""You've done a good job and I'm proud of you."And some re-integration self-talk: (DON'T DO THIS UNTIL YOU'VE SPENT SEVERAL WEEKS AT LEAST ACTIVELY DOING THE ABOVE)REPEAT(DON'T DO THIS UNTIL YOU'VE SPENT SEVERAL WEEKS AT LEAST ACTIVELY DOING THE ABOVE)REPEAT(DON'T DO THIS UNTIL YOU'VE SPENT SEVERAL WEEKS AT LEAST ACTIVELY DOING THE ABOVE)"You and you alters all get along very well." "You and you alters share information." "You and you alters want to work together." "You and you alters look out for each other." etc.This is work. And it requires a continuous effort on your part. Use common sense. When you know for certain that interacting with certain people or placing yourself in certain situations makes you edgy, avoid those things if at all possible. If you will be heading into such a situation and can't avoid it, then use preliminary self-talk:"You will not react to ____.""Your alters will not react to ____."Note that triggers aren't just words. They can be pictures, colors, sounds and scents. When it comes to engaging with others they can be hand gestures, someone walking out of the room while you are speaking, etc. Usually they like to use some sort of rude passive-aggressive behavior to set you off.Again. This is WORK. And it requires determination. But keep it up and one day you'll realize that you did not react to certain situations as you would have previously reacted to them, and that you are consciously more aware of when you are being triggered.Give yourself a pat on the back and keep going.You must never allow yourself to indulge in self-pity. Instead, get good and self-righteously angry.Be determined to break their grip and reclaim what is rightfully yours. Be kind to yourself..you deserve it.Hope this helps.
killvrill (Jul 24, 2014 22:47:57 GMT -5)
Regarding sleep:Insomnia has always been and continues to be problem for me. A quick google search and an hour's worth of reading will give you a feel for the deleterious effects of sleep deprivation. Very stressful on the body and decreases your ability to cope during the day.If you are able to sleep, then sleep. Don't ever wake yourself unnecessarily in the middle of the night.Before you go to sleep do some self-talk:"You will be able to handle any situation during REM sleep" etc.Sleep well
killvrill (Jul 25, 2014 15:01:08 GMT -5)
You're very welcome. What I gave you though, is also meant as a guideline for you to tweak as needed.Never confront your programmer/handler. They will either be unaware of what they are doing or (more likely) they know exactly what they are doing and they don't give a damn. It is also futile to use reason or logic for the same reasons. Again, avoid all contact when possible. When contact is unavoidable, prepare mentally. Instruct yourself to not engage and not to react. When around them maintain a continuous inner dialog. I might say something to myself such as "You know that this person deliberately says and does ____ to provoke you. You will not react when they start doing ____. You will no longer 'play their game'. You will not give them permission to trigger you. You will not give them the satisfaction of triggering you. etc etc.First let me say that I have not had therapy for reintegration. About 15 years ago I developed extreme insomnia (above my normal baseline insomnia) and anxiety that resulted in substance abuse. At that point I ultimately ended up with the diagnosis of ADHD and PTSD. (What I always found strange was that although I am usually a very logical, practical, solution-based person, I did not seek help. As you will see below, that was part of the programming)I ended up with a psychiatrist who I believe is one of the few competent and caring psychiatrists that exist. He immediately put me at ease when he reassured my that when one has PTSD, you NEVER go near the traumatic memories until you are in a safe and stable situation. This means that you have a solid job situation or income and that you have a strong family and/or emotional support base. Without those, you are not in the position to dig up trauma. Well, I don't have those things and am likely to never have them. Additionally, before you discuss a traumatic event, you discuss the fact that you will discuss it. And you do this for several weeks. You may spend four weeks planning what you will discuss and when you will discuss it. Not that you would spend an entire 45 min session on it but it does get discussed multiple times prior to occurring.Prior to meeting my psychiatrist, I had been talking to a clinical social worker who insisted that I MUST share some memories in order to "heal". Feeling threatened and coerced, I started to share something traumatic. The next thing I knew, I had jumped up and run to the door. Once I reached the door I 'got a grip' and ran back to my chair only to run to the door again. I was now having flashbacks and was in a full blown panic-attack. I couldn't even speak. I glanced at my therapist and saw that he was literally ashen. He looked terrified. I couldn't express it at that moment but I was FURIOUS, because I realized that he was not qualified and did not know what he was dealing with and had no business insisting that I must share. He didn't know how to handle it. Well, it should have never happened. I had to drive home through rush-hour traffic while still in a panic attack. I wasn't even capable of recognizing how out-of-it I was and that I had no business getting in the car. He was too incompetent to stop me. The drive took an hour and a half and to this day I don't know how I managed without having an accident. It took me at least a solid week to even return to my baseline after that.My point in sharing this is that you must proceed with caution. In a ideal world, I suppose, that digging up traumatic events and "processing" them is helpful, but I question even if that is helpful. You mind buries things for a reason. I suggest you deal with what you know. In time, other things will surface when they are ready to surface (if ever). To finish up my story, over time it became apparent to both my psychiatrist and myself that there was a little more going on besides ADHD and PTSD. We were both aware that I occasionally switched. However, as I mentioned, I am no where near having the kind of stability in my life that one must have before attempting to dig up memories. OK, here is some more info. I do not want to turn this forum into a link farm so I have replaced the 'dots' with an equal sign.The two mental exercises at the bottom here are something I recommend. Grateful for your question because I had stopped doing these a noticed a difference when I did them. Basically, they help your brain recognise what thoughts are yours vs what thoughts are not originating from you.Advice on Psychotronics/Alien Protection from Willy & Andy15- Exercise a lot and sweat. Very important to ground negative energies from your body17- Maintain deep vigilance on your thought process and realize that many of your thoughts are not your own. Dismiss with determination all thought that are against your own self benefit. The rational mind is a big liar and a tool for the dark forces. Do no believe all you think; be more heart-centered than mind-centered19- Water is magical. Drink a gallon of “distilled water” everyday and when you pee, put out the thought that negative energy is coming out of your body. Program your drinking water by praying on top of the water with great feeling and then drink it. If you are not religious, say " beautiful water" over the water before drinking.20- Only act upon feelings of love, and peace, never in rage or anger. Observe your feelings and be aware that they are not your enemies, rather, they are guidelines that show you your state of mind.These are the points that I recommend, except for the prayer part. I now view religion as a control mechanism, nor do I "bring in light". That's another trap - the light is already within. We are not un-evolved - we are switched off. Just my take.However, the the rest is important. Exercise and maintain a connection with your body. Stay hydrated. And maintain an awareness of your thoughts, intents and actions.Pulled this from another page . It is spot-on. Must develop "strong personal will":A “strong personal will” is the best antidote and that a person should practice any exercise that increases their will power, like trying to sit while having the knees touching each other for a long time.AVOID THE TELLY! Not good. Can pull you into a trance within 4 seconds.Dates to be aware of:A very good article that discusses how to "talk" to your alters:A good overview:Another good overview:
ritualabuse.us/ritualabuse/articles/common-programs-observed-in-survivors-of-satanic-ritualistic-abuse/
Self-Injury ProgrammingLethal ProgrammingCult Control ProgrammingTherapy Interference Programming3). Miscellaneous Self-Injury ProgramsTypes of specific self-injury programs are as numerous as there are ways to injure oneself. Besides being conditioned to cut and burn, we have also routinely seen programs designed to create within the survivor: (1) “accident” proneness, (2) failure to eat, (3) ingestion of injurious materials and poisons, (4) failure to sleep, (5) failure to take needed medication, and (6) the intentional breaking of one’s own bones — particularly hands, fingers, arms and legs.Regarding my situation, I now understand that I had survived Lethal programming and had fallen back to Self-Injury programming. I wasn't eating and I wasn't sleeping and I wasn't doing anything to get help.I do not belong to the survivorship=org forum, nor am I recommending it. The above links contain a multitude of links. You can explore them but proceed with caution. I have personally decided to opt-out of such forums. For me, it was counterproductive. It ends up stirring up too much and you can spend to too much time trying to support people who won't support themselves. Once again, this takes WORK.There is no magic cure. The bottom line is that you need to exercise to remain connected to your body, do the best that you can to eat healthy food and remain hydrated, avoid television at all costs, and most importantly,be aware of your thoughts 24/7. Again and again again, ask yourself what are you thinking and feeling and why are you thinking and feeling it. Practice mental self-discipline. This is a lifestyle that you will need to adopt.Good luck.
otis (Jul 30, 2014 16:08:32 GMT -5)
Don, you say you want publicly announced, that you won't be killed coming to the ROME.Isn't that paranoid? What are you scared of? What is the difference between going from Halifax to Florida and going flom Florida to ROMA (Backwards it reads amor).IMO YOU WASTE YOURS AND OUR TIME STAYING IN FLORIDA. : Amadeus. : Moisl.What do people expect you to do in Rome or the Vatcan btw.Oh and if you feel like have a look at jabberwacky.comOPERATION MEGADEATH!
celine (Aug 2, 2014 19:33:29 GMT -5)
Donald Marshall shared a link Russia does it too.
beforeitsnews.com/spies-and-intelligence/2014/08/russia-exposes-u-s-secretly-forced-brain-chip-mind-control-weapon-2446572.html?utm_medium=facebook-post&utm_term=http%3A%2F%2Fb4in.info%2Fdbzs&utm_source=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2F&utm_campaign=&utm_content=awesmsharetools-fbshare-small
Russia Exposes U.S. Secretly Forced Brain-Chip Mind Control Weapon | Spies and Intelligencebeforeitsnews.comSecretly forced human brain implants connected to c
celine (Aug 27, 2014 5:49:24 GMT -5)
Cosimo Laporta posted a linkBrice Taylor and Ted GundersonDonald Marshall She was clones at the time...Greg Hallier Lindberg Crazeeeeeee stuff she tells.....Cosimo Laporta It's amazing that a cia agent backs up her storyDonald Marshall Lol not really. Donald Marshall He's just a part of it. Tempa Westbrook Yo, interesting they're showing this on a mainstream TV, what's the catch I wonder?Donald Marshall XD! I dunno mang.Tempa Westbrook a-Yo Don, you're getting savvy with Puerto Rican, mang, lol.Read more:
donaldmarshall.proboards.com/thread/173/messages-interest-dons-facebook-friends?page=71&scrollTo=11472#ixzz3BaXK7oQv
comment pruned due to size
celine (Oct 1, 2014 18:45:05 GMT -5)
Donald Marshall shared a link.
mind-computer.com/2013/12/20/billion-dollar-race-soviet-union-vied-with-us-in-mind-control-research/
Billion dollar race: Soviet Union vied with US in ‘mind control research’ Published time: December 17, 2013 23:59 Competing with the US during the Arms Race,...Velma Lewis Just had funny picture of Obama and Putin as spirits/entities even after death, still fighting and bickering.