uaah, Henry, that must have been tougher to get out than any of us reading can comprehend!
Our wildest imagination can't possibly reach what you really experienced, but it is obvious how deep those ghosts of the past go :-(

The more I am so truly happy about your success take-off in your present life!
And I am so happy to now know you personally!
You are such an incredibly positive and warming guy, one would NEVER sense what you are carrying with you inside.

You have such an uplifting vibration and soul of a giver - I guess this is why the Universe decided to now finally give back exponentially - or... actually it is YOU who finally started to love yourself enough to get into the vibration of deserving and getting good stuff into your life!

I am so happy for you, and for all of us around you as we benefit from your loving vibration fuel too!

How high is the statistical chance of this gun to block at that significant moment... for me, this is clearly higher forces at work! You needed that lesson, I guess, and I am certain from that moment on it started to drive you into being another person. From feeling as failure to survivor to no-kidding-warrior of Goodness! I really see it that way.

Not to mention your dog... Indeed, who knows how the story could have continued, if she did not sit on that gun and over-flood you with her love!

You should make peace with the past, as it was needed to be that way in order for you to become this energetic sharer of all your experience that you now use to train people in survival, and deliver emergency solutions. You get what I mean. All happens for a reason.

I hope you find some ways to further erase all emotion from old memories. Try Ho'oponopono for example....

Feel hugged like I giant bear and infinitely appreciated in my life!