A Time to Love and a Time to Let Go

A Dog to Love

Not too long ago, I reached out to the Gab community while I was deep in grief. I was having the age old struggle with facing Death. Our dog had cancer, the vet said, and he got very ill, very quickly.

My husband had the dog when we met. I had always had bigger dogs as a child. This was a Chihuahua. He was really attached to hubby and a ‘little dog’, so I hadn’t really bonded deeply with the dog until the last few months. We were together every minute. I took him with me when I went to visit my children at their Dad’s and he visited too. I took him out to go potty every few hours by carrying him on a pillow when he couldn’t walk anymore or stand to be picked up. My husband grieved the day he found out about the cancer and the little boy was mostly invisible to him from then on, he wanted to have him put down that day. I felt the spirit wasn’t ready to go yet though. I gave him hospice care until he couldn’t breathe okay anymore and I knew it was time to take him to the vet to release him from that body. I am crying again as I write this of course btw.

It was my first time being present at a vet initiated euthanization. My ex- Husband took in the two cats we had that were injured so badly by the IAMS food thing from the mid oughts. They both developed cancer. He was with me this day also to help me through this. As a child I had seen my father and his relatives and friends sit up all night waiting for the wild dogs that were attacking our farm animals. They would shoot them. So I had already had that sort of tragedy in my book. But then there at least seems to be a reason, to protect the flock of chickens or sheep. So I will just say I was profoundly sad and had no one in real life to help me with my grief and need for support.

Gab users responded in the hundreds. I needed that. As truthers, wayshowers, empaths, whistleblowers, anons, and /or patriots (many ‘labels’ can apply), we are Alone. Most of us have been faced with rejection repeatedly, for what we know. Our loved ones want to ‘kill the messenger’. The truth of the global pedophile hivites is too great for them to bear so they turn away or reject the one telling them about it. (I found a way to be around my sleeping husband but that should be in another post.)

I have lived in my location for 18 years and have made zero real life friends. I had women from the casino I worked at that I would gamble with after work, have a drink or two, long ago of course, back before children. But even then (2002) I was too alternative for the regular public. So what I am saying is, the online community has been the only support network I have had for nearly two decades and I am appreciative of those of us that take the time to go to others posts and let them know what their words or video mean to their lives.

So I am writing this next part to uplift, to show good will exists, to foment proper futures.

After our boy was gone I was….. no way to say it. Dark. Off. Done. I wrote my post on Gab, asking for friends online to post flowers as a comment. I got many flowers! I also got suggestions to go get another dog. My husband had already let go of our chi chi boy months before when he found out he would die and had already been looking at puppies online at various shelters. It sickened me. I felt he was being unloving to our boy with this. After a few days and the posts from others that were thinking more clearly than me at the time, I understood. It’s like that saying, saving one dog doesn’t matter to the world, but to that one dog it is the world.

We got another dog!

So this post is for those that have had a dog go missing or had to surrender a very loved animal.

We are taking care of the boy now and he is very happy. We give him grain free dry food made from duck and treats of organic chicken. He goes on a big hike with Dad at least once a week when the temperature is above freezing and around the block a few times a week. He has a fenced yard but prefers the indoors (for now anyway since its winter). He is taller and bigger than our last dog so we bought three dog sleeper beds so we can have one on each level of our home. He seems to have been trained to beg for human food so that is comical, when he stands on his hind legs and dances, although we are working to help him with that. We do give him some table scraps of course as I consider that to be a great benefit of having a dog, less waste. I just make sure to give them when he isn’t expecting it. He loves to get rowdy, play fighting with any of us imitating a dog on all fours. We have lots of children around, but none of them small enough to be a pest to him, only the right age for cuddles and play. I am home nearly all day and there is rarely a time he has to be alone, even for a bit. He loves riding in the car, resting his head on my arm as he does insist on being in the driver’s lap.

This dog was ‘found’. We got him at the shelter and are taking wonderful care of him. If you lost him or had to surrender him at least you now have the comfort of knowing he is loved and part of our family. He fits in with us well. I will be his momma now and take care of him until he leaves this place.

I have had circumstances when I was younger that led me to surrender a few cats and a dog. I worried so much over their fate. This is to heal us, as best we can anyway. This little mini Doberman/ Chihuahua/ dachshund darling is well cared for and we got him from a shelter. I am now ready to get a second dog as companion for him as he seems to need to play more than my old self wants to. And for these two dogs, it will mean everything.