The Peaceful Parenting Position on "Spanking"
"I was spanked and I turned out fine!"
"If you don't discipline your kids they'll go wild!"
"Spanking can be done lovingly!"
In this live video, I'd like to address all these contentions regarding the peaceful parenting principle that corporal punishment is not necessary for a child's healthy, natural development. To the contrary it is usually severely detrimental. Even to those who maintain they "turned out alright."
Most importantly though, as logic and reason should always be our guides, I will explain why spanking as a practice is illogical, if our goal as parents is to raise healthy, happy, well-adjusted kids.
See you in the LIVE CHAT!
~KafkA
Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as DLive and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)
My live stream is at DLive
You know, whenever an article like this comes up, I always see people flocking to the comments with "I haven't spanked my child and they turned out great." I love it. My story is no different. From the start I've spoken to my daughter and explained things to her (albeit as simply as I possibly could for a toddler who's now going on five years old) as to why she needs to listen and why I have the rules in place for behavior I'm trying to teach her. Now? She calms herself down whenever she starts to pitch a fit, she grabs for my hand whenever we're in a parking lot so that we can walk together, and she even has a rudimentary understanding of property ownership, as well as understanding that actions can have negative consequences.
All without spanking. Keep spreading the message, boss.
Always great to hear. Thanks for this, @anarcho-andrei. As more and more parents take this view, we're going to see a big change in the world. We already are. Cheers, mate.
The topic sounds like it may be interesting, I can see the video, but no audio. Is anyone else having that problem?
I may not specifically follow the “peaceful parent” approach, but I have two kids and have not spanked them in years. I don’t think my youngest has ever been spanked. My oldest maybe when he was 2, and I thought “how weird that I just did this because I thought I should discipline my child”. There are much more effective ways, I can assure you of that! Of course you need to guide kids down a positive path, and let them know consequences for action, but spanking is not something we do in my house. I don’t think “spare the rod, spoil the child” is true. My kids are known to be the best kids in the room, respectful, and extremely intelligent, all that without beating them if they get out of line! Kids really can have a rational conversation about why you should or should not do things, you just have to sit them down and have that conversation. They can be in control of themselves, without fear of the switch.
So right on. Yes, I agree 100%.
Sorry about the audio. I recorded the whole thing before I realized there was a problem. I am uploading a new version right now on YouTube and I will post it here ASAP!
Thanks! I always enjoy your dtube videos! I’ll watch it this evening when I’m back at home!
Cheers!
you have very logical and deep position about it, I support you!
not all parents, especially dad understand it..
in Russia it's heritage from the past when it was just a variant of norm , just upbringing, otherwise "a baby will not listen to parents".
a shocking argument... why is authority should be got through spanking..
now it can be met much rare, thanks god
Very interesting topic that you are going to address and very controversial, it hurts in English ... I hope you have a lot of success. regards!
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I always liked that Japanese classroom tap on the head that didn’t actually hurt the student but kind of shocked them just a bit, I’m interested in hearing more about how to raise kids in a peaceful environment, still on the have any, but hope to some day.
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right if we let our child just be a child that is not useful in the eyes of the world, then keep our children as well
Thank you for your video. Almost I could not avoid tears listening to it. While I'm trying to be 100% peaceful with my daughter, try, because I was once so tired and angry that I got desperate and angry with her, so started to scream for a moment and said shit that was wrong to say. As I realized, I apologized to her and told her I was wrong and had absolutely no right to act like that.
While I try to be 100% peaceful to my daughter, I got aware just in this minutes I listened what I'm doing wrong with another child. Like I protect my daughter till the last. That boy is bullied in school and worst by his own mother. His mother has also had a hard past. At the begining I felt pity for them. But today I feel more anger and disgust which leads me to feel aggressive and instead of giving love and empathy (what should be my new behave) I'm giving a hard time to both of them when I see my wife or my daughter attacked.
I'm still thinking, and still not solved the situation, but your video made me think further about it.
Thank you :)