What are the Five Love Languages and Why You NEED to Know Them!

in dlive •  6 months ago


A friend gave me the book, "The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts" for my birthday. I found the message in this book so incredibly powerful, that I had to share it with you! It also includes a lot of statistics and facts that I did not know, and I thought I knew everything, ha! I think this should be a required book for all to read to better understand how to be in a love relationship.

Over 10 million copies of this book have been sold, and it's been translated into 50 languages! Clearly, I am not the only one moved by this book. So what is it all about? Let me give you a brief synopsis...

First of all, it introduces the concept of having a love tank, and it needs to be filled by your partner with the type of love you need. You can be on empty if you are receiving the wrong love language, and then become upset with each other, and I think this is a huge reason for the number of divorces in the world, as we just don't know how to understand each other.

In order to start learning better ways to communicate our love, the 5 love languages are:

  1. Words of Affirmation
    Examples: telling your partner you love them or that they look beautiful

  2. Quality Time
    Example: Sitting down for 15 minutes to talk and connect with no TV on and cell phones away

  3. Receiving Gifts
    Example: Giving your partner a surprise present

  4. Acts of Service
    Examples: Doing the laundry, cleaning the house, or this could also mean being physically present for important events for the other

  5. Physical Touch
    Example: Hugs, holding hands, back rubs, kissing, or naked time :)

As a real life example, there might be a husband that thinks he’s doing everything he can to show his wife that he loves her; he’s doing the dishes every day, cooking dinner, taking out the garbage, etc. However, every day she’s complaining to him, as Acts of Service (as he’s doing) is clearly not her primary love language. Hers might be Words of Affirmation, and the husband never tells her she looks gorgeous or that he appreciates her kindness.

If you are not sure right away what your partner’s love language is, it’s usually what they complain about the most!

Also, without the primary love language being fulfilled, the others wouldn’t exist. So for example, one might assume the man’s main love language is Physical Touch, but if you spoke no Words of Affirmation to him, and only pointed out what bothered you and his flaws, over time, he may not want your touch. Thus Words of Affirmation would be his primary love language, and not Physical Touch.

It’s a choice to want to make your significant other happy and feel loved. It might be uncomfortable to start incorporating your partner’s love language into your life; but making the choice to do so can really shift your relationship into the right direction.

I want to add that these concepts can be applied towards friend and family relationships too. For example, maybe your mom really loves spending time with you (Quality Time is her primary love language), but you only send her cards and don’t take the time to go visit her. Or maybe you have a friend that just loves presents (Receiving Gifts is her primary love language), but you are always showing up empty handed to her birthday parties. These are just some things to think about to make yourself a better partner in any relationship.

And lastly, READ THE BOOK! The words are incredibly powerful, and it’s a fast and fun page-turner. This is a very brief description, but the real pages really explain it!

Book: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
Author: Gary Chapman

My video is at DLive

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This is an amazing book, totally changed my perception of how we interpret love. I was surprised when I took the test online. Quality time and physical touch are mine. How about you?


So glad to hear you loved it too! Quality Time is totally me. :)


Same here! I was surprised to find out I cared so little about receiving gifts - but that my wife was the exact opposite! Now I make sure to always surprise her with gifts, even if it's just something small. It's crazy to think that before I read this book I showed love the same way I wanted to be loved - and was surprised when people didn't respond well lol... What a paradigm shift!

Book is the best prize to give someone in his/her special day. You also get such a awesome thing. I think you learn many thing from this book.


I so agree! The gift of a book is new knowledge and that is priceless!

Love is like a seed has a great power inside to bear fruit but if it is not sown in fertile soil, it is cared for and watered, it is not possible for good fruits to nourish the coexistence and happiness


Well said! :)

This is an amazing book.


I'm so glad I'm not the only one who loves it! :)


I love reading, I would like to have more free time to devote more to books. Thank you for this type of publication that encourage us to look for a little time to dedicate ourselves to what we like

I have to find this book in the bookstore / online bookstore.
Thank you for the information @darblie


Wonderful! :)

Great post, love is so powerful! Thanks for sharing.


So glad you enjoyed! :)

Thanks for the books coz have been trying to impress my fiance with gift and other things but she just need attention and time at least a day I give her three hrs but she need 6hrs a day and I don't know what to do


6 hours a day is not sustainable! Perhaps have a chat with her on expectations and what is doable. Maybe on the weekends you can have one long date day/night but for every day is too much. It's important you both have time for yourselves alone and with friends/family too!

Wow this post really enlightened me alot thanks for this


So glad to hear! :)

I will buy it and read it, the one who thinks that love is something easy and insignificant ... it is very wrong, there are many ways to love and prove it, again:
Book: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
Author: Gary Chapman


Wonderful! Let me know what you think of the book. And yes, love takes effort, but it is worth it more than words can describe.


Love deserves everything ... today and tomorrow, improving yesterday, it is worth it, of course we need it, it is our essence, it is the gasoline of our lives, depending on its intensity, it will be how we take it will be our happiness.
I think the book is very complete, I like how you develop the five points, their reflections and advice, how you can apply your concepts, I congratulate you, successes and triumphs!

After reading this post I have understood some valuable things. Although I'm not married yet. I think I have to read the book to understand the five love languages deeply. It'll be helpful for after marriage, to be happy.
Thank you dear @darblie. Love for the post.


That makes me so happy to hear! Yes, please read the book and let me know what you think. It truly shares valuable lessons that will change your life and perception of relationships.


Yes, I'll read the book. Thanks for the comment.



Thank you! :)


I know of the 5 languages. By the time I tried to take them serious, it was too late. She had already decided to leave.
I wish I knew the power of these sooner.
Thanks for sharing with everyone.


I'm sorry it didn't turn out as you expected with that girl, BUT the right girl is out there for you, and it will be a healthier, happier (easier!) relationship with this knowledge you now have. They always get better, so I'm excited for you to find that next ONE. :)

The book should be a must read for everyone in a relationship. I had no clue what the 5 love languages were until my ex-girlfriend introduced me to the concept. It is VERY important for you to understand how your significant other perceives being loved.

Don't waste your time hoping you are speaking their love language. Sit down and take the fun little quiz and have a real conversation with them about how they prefer to be loved. Trust me fellas it will make your life that much easier.


Yessss you KNOW! :) It does make life earlier when we learn these concepts and make changes for the better.

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Physical Touch increases that closeness you have with each other and sometimes words are need when two people can just convey their feelings just through touch.

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Love is important between husband and wife