Rambling About Depression, Time Off, Being Shut Down | VLOG 225
This vlog is bad, very raw and difficult to understand and especially to articulate concepts and emotions and feelings. I discuss a brief history of depression, how it feels, my recent break, and being anti-social to my extent. I'm bad at this, bear with me.
I'd like to make more of these styles of vlog/videos because I want to work on my ability to speak candidly about these things in ways that people can easily understand. It will most likely take a while to get to the point I want to get to, but I'm young and I certainly have enough time to get there.
To reiterate, or if you're just reading this and don't wanna watch this garbage, I'm not quitting, I still want to stream and be more active, I just want time off, time to think about other things, and also want to expand myself as an individual.
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I can understand to a degree. I was depressed to the point of being almost non-functioning about 7 years ago. Since then I'm a lot better, my life is completely different but I still never expect to be 100% cured of depression. The important thing is to continue trying to improve your situation gradually and eventually you'll have a nice buffer zone of happiness to keep you further from the suicidally depressed levels it's possible to hit on the inevitable downer which is always lurking around the corner.
Some depressed people have a broken scale for happiness. If the normal range is 1 to 10, a lot of depressed people can only manage 1 to 7 or so, meaning they spend most of their time at a 3.5. The good news is that depression from a genetic/hereditary cause is surprisingly rare, about 95% of cases of clinical depression are environmental. Stemming either from the actual state of a sufferers life or their perception of it. With the correct actions to fix environmental stressors and the ability to view situations in an unbiased way it can be quite realistic to manage depression in the long term.
It's good that you're taking some time off though. Honestly, I don't know if it's possible for someone with your usual work schedule to live genuinely healthily, either physically or emotionally.
Good post, we shall see how the environmental situation affects things by the end of the year I'd say. Finding a good mix will be a lot easier most likely, too.
Always enjoy these deep vlogs, thanks for opening up :)
My sweet flower, I hope you get better. Have tried seeing a psychiatrist? just to give you some stuff to take when you need to relax and sleep.
@cyberdemon. You are great and able to solve problems in busyness, set schedule and willpower. But this is not everyone can do it, unless you can teach, it is great.😍
Amoging look
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