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Hello,

My name is Victor Manuel, I'm a 30 year old actor from Mexico and Spain, art and acting are in my veins and my soul but it's very recently that I started to pursue my career and really believe in myself .

¿My background? International, I've lived in Canada, Valencia, Madrid and just moved to New York, to study in the prestigious American Academy of Dramatic Arts. Those years living in Spain gave me the opportunity to discover Europe and made friends from all over the world, during that period I dedicated my life to the art of business and marketing, I never really knew what I wanted and art was never a possible option for myself, it didn't even crossed my mind so I decided to find something for myself in what everybody else around me were doing, My female friends were getting married to rich men and my male friends were doing finance or politics, I was gay and in the closet so I was doing neither politics or economics, my secret boyfriend at the time was a politician studying economics, oh the irony, he is 4 years older than me and up to this day he reminds in the closet, it is very sad and pathetic but he will remind in the closet his whole life, hating himself and regretting everything in his life just like I did when I was 25 in 2017, the year I decided to came out of the closet with my very traditional and at the time very strict & frigid parents, oh yet more trauma.

I decided to study business to stay close to my at the time lover, in an very dramatic but very enlightened relationship which was basically a marriage except it wasn't, because we were in the closet so I couldn't move in with him and receive money like the rest of my friends, just kidding, studying business basically meant going partying every single weekend to Mexico City where I stood with either one of my at the moment best friends, where later on in life, I discovered there were some feelings going on without me knowing, which brought me a confusion because at the moment I would probably loved back one of them but nowadays I'm just very disgusted by them, about how they are and that's all I will said about that. While I was studying business, I went to Spain for the first time and fall in love with that country, at the time I was on and off with my then boyfriend, we were supposed to go together but our relationship turned so bad and complicated at the end and I was in the closet so it my only way out was going to Spain alone, at some point I was even scared, because he is damaged and liked to get very aggressive, damaged people are not bad, I'm damaged myself, but it is very hard to deal with someone who doesn't accept who he is and hates himself, that can make everybody else around them a living hell.

I was in heaven and earth, our relationship was so intense, just the way it is when you are 18 and you find love for the first time in your life, in a place where I thought I was the only one gay around. I knew I wasn't the only one, I knew the driver and the gardener were gay because I hooked up with both and some taxi drivers after getting super drunk and horny while I was out clubbing.

I started clubbing when I was 13 years old, drinking when I was 14, smoking weed when I was 17, cocaine when I was 18 and other chemicals like ketamine, LSD, xtasys, mdma, speed, GHB and poppers when I was 24, and from there the list goes on. Nowadays I quited all that, I only do mushrooms and weed, because it relaxes me and makes me aware and I like to meditate with them but that's not the point. I didn't even like some of them at the time, I'm not against drugs but I opposed to do drugs for the wrong reasons, that can be very hurtful for yourself and all of those around you, even letal. I feel like there is so much desinformation. I still don't know where to stand with drugs recently studies confirm that some drugs taken mindfully under the right circumstances are very helpful.

My experience is that they definitely helped me expand my consciousness but they are tools and they deserve respect and be used mindfully, before exploring drugs, explore yourself. I feel humans will do whatever and take whatever just to not be with themselves: smartphones, streaming, tv, food, sugar, sex... everything is a drug if you do it for the wrong reasons, everything is a medicine if you do it consciously, respectfully, mindfully, if you are really present and living the experience, not avoiding feelings or escaping reality, that will never be the way.

As I was saying before, after studying business between Mexico and Spain, I got a job because of contacts of my parents in one "prestigious" international mexican company that I couldn't care less, that was after living in Valencia and just the thought of being in Mexico made me feel to my stomach.

Canada was alright, I went to a private catholic school so it was basically the same but with bears, trees and snow, at that age I didn't care much for anything so I was happy to be somewhere else, by the time I was living in Canada I assumed my macho heterosexual fake personality so much that the first week of school, I hooked up with 2 of the most notorious girls at school. Canada was a lot of drama, most of my school hated me because the gay kid who wasn't even at that school anymore because he graduated 2 years before I went there, hated me. He hated me because he thought I was gay, which I was, but he was being a major cunt... the rest of the school hated me because that guy and other girl invented a rumor that I had a list of girls that I wanted to hooked up and that wasn't fucking truth. I only had a carpet in my computer with cute selfies of the girls that I've kissed so far in Canada at that time, there were only 6 in total, I know it sounds both cute and douchey but I was 16 people and studying in a catholic school. The other reason they hated me, it was because I was hanging with the kids from the public schools, they were cool, they did 3 way kissing, I was only kissing one by one and I even inviting them to dinner and movies, which is 200% more than the heterosexual classic douchebag was doing at the time, so yes St Ann's Academy give me a break.

When I moved to Spain all I wanted to do was partying, dance and have sex.. I met all the major Spanish nightlight scene and believe me it is huge, there are djs, actors, producers, models, djs, djs, djs, artists and so all getting together to share and create.. no I'm kidding they are only getting together to get fucked up... I got really tired and Spain was starting to feel just uncomfortable for me too. I don't regret any of that, ¿do you know why? Because after almost 2 years with depression, major anxiety, being in psychologists, yoga, exercise, organic diets, meditation workshops, congratulating myself from getting out of bed and most of all taking a break from the world, I discovered that I'm an actor and I can use that as fucking inspiration.

VM