Taught !
Or how the people we find the most challenging are in fact the very ones to be our greatest teachers.
I live in a village. I live with about 25 other people together on a farm and we are all different and unique beings with different past and programming.
For me in the beginning It was tough and hard to face the people that I would characterize as difficult. I would feel reactive and emotional around them, thinking "damn, what is her deal" or "why can't he just be normal". Or just irritated and upset about how certain people behave.
A important thing to realize here is that all the confusion and reactions, anger, fear or emotion that comes up in me, when people are difficult, is because of me. I am the keeper of the reactions and the anger and programs of mind, not them. The anger or reactions come from within me, and is triggered on how I experience this other being. It is my experience. In other words, they can't bring up emotions within me. That is totally within my own experience and so responsibility.
I have learned to approach these people with a new "tool" - and that is complete and full embracing of who they are as beings - and also to thank them, for who they are and for what they show me - about myself. I would sit during dinners and imagine that I fully and unconditionally embrace that person. I live the word "embrace" when with those people. I would sound "thank you" within myself in consideration to their expression, manners and living - again - for what they show me of myself. Now this was not easy for me to see or live and realize, it was times where I felt so "abused" by the others behaviors lol and I felt like giving up !
But consistent and persistence diligence living the word "embrace" without a second thought, would make a path for me to see that not only did I see changes in me how I could learn patience and care, consideration and compassion, but they would also change and become "easier" to work with. It is like the situation would heal.
So; it is to do against others the way that I would like to be treated. Place myself in their shoes. Imagine the lives and the programming of mind that they represent.
This is a deep rooted skill to practice and learn to utilize and use to anyone that experiences difficult and challenging situations. It is about learning and understanding to be humble; that the most challenging people and experiences we go through, are our greatest teachers to learn from in life.
So to live the word "embrace" and imagine myself to embrace the person that is difficult. And also I find it convenient to thank them, also within myself as a thank you to the teacher that they are to me.
Here are two links on how to deal with difficult people: