The Confessions of a Playa! - Chapter 1

Chapter 1
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight – Proverbs 12:22

“I think you are overreacting babe. I do make time for you but you must understand I have other commitments. I’m working and studying. I also have a social life. I have a little son that needs my attention. I won’t be able to be with you 24/7. Even married people don’t hang together 24/7. Ask your father if you don’t believe me”. Lerato was my new girlfriend. We had met less than a month ago. She thought she was the landlady of my heart. I don’t blame her though. She was still new in the picture and she had an impression that she was my future wife. Anyway, maybe she was. Only God know what the future has in store for us. “Rhulani Chauke, Rhu Rhu, you always have excuses. Why can’t you just be a good boyfriend and make time for me? When was the last time you called me? When was the last time you saw me? It has been a week and you think I should be ok with that? Like really now…duh!!!! I am a woman and I have needs”. This is what happens when you go all out in bed with a woman, she’ll become a bee on your ears. Guys who just go for one round and start snoring hardly have this kind of complaints from women. If you go all out she’ll go crazy whenever she thinks of what you did to her in bed. I’m not a sex machine but most of my ex’s still call me when they need real satisfaction. Reality is, if you don’t satisfy your girl in bed, the first person she would think of whenever she’s not sexually happy is her ex. I don’t blame guys who want their girlfriends to cut all ties with their ex boyfriends.

One of the things I mastered when dealing with women is the power of presents. You can argue with a woman for 10 hours non-stop but you will never win the argument. You shower her with a present before she goes all ‘mosquito’ on you and you are forgiven on the spot. I asked her to close her eyes, took out a bracelet from my pocket and put it in her hand. Her eyes were met by the shining thing in her hand and she glowed on the spot. Her argument was assassinated by a mere bracelet. Remember how Kenneth Mashaba used to dribble Little Dinny’s brain with present in the late Generations? I didn’t even buy it, it was left by my sugar mama at my place after a night of shagging. You’ll meet the sugar mama in near future. It still looked new so she didn’t even notice it wasn’t new. She stood up from her chair and gave me a huge hug. She took the bracelet a picture and uploaded it on Facebook with the caption “that moment when bae surprises me with this gold bracelet. Only a Gold deserves a gold. I am a gold. ‪#‎MaratongVille‬“. You see, my plan worked like magic. Girls are like a toddler that you can give a lollipop and she forgets that she was angry.

My phone rang. I know it sounds stupid but it worked for me. I saved numbers of girls who called ‘too much’ as ‘Private Number’. So whenever they called ‘Private Number’ would appear on the screen and I’ll just ignore it. When the girl I’m with asks why I just go “I don’t answer private numbers”. I knew it was probably my sugar mama Maureen. She was 45 but had energy of a 25 year old. She combined experience and energy and the product was something out of this world. What made me keep her longer was the fact that she wasn’t shy to open both her wallet and legs. Why date a sugar mama if she aint giving you money? She liked the Tsonga in me, or should I say she loved the Tsonga below my navel. Apparently my manhood reminded her of her late husband Dr Shivambu. Apparently the dude had a tree in Giyani and his manhood was linked to it. I still think the tree story is a myth. I ignored the call and continued with a now joy-filled topic with my Lerato. Her phone rang and it was her mom. She was like “mom I’ll call you later. I’m with your son-in-law Rhulani”. I just don’t understand some girls. How do you tell your mom that someone you met less than 2 months ago is her son-in-law. It’s kinda scary and creepy for us guys. What happened to ‘take time to know him’. She put her hand on the speaker and whispered “Rhu, my mom says you must come for dinner”. I just nodded because I didn’t wanna disappoint her. Some girls must put brake pads on their mouths and hearts. Her type deserved 1-0 aka hit & run. She looked like that type that would have pictures of me all over her bedroom. She looked like that type that would pic-mix pictures of her in a wedding dress and me in a suit. We ate our launch and after eating she whispered something into my ears. I didn’t waste any time, I paid the bill and we headed to my car. Oh, I was driving a blue Golf 6 R.

Let me introduce myself briefly. I am a Tsonga dude that was born in Chiawelo in Soweto, grew up in Diepkloof Zone 4 (Soweto) but we moved to Soshanguve (Pretoria) when I was 13. When my parents divorced due to my father’s excessive cheating.I moved with my mom to my grandmother’s place in Difateng, Tembisa. I currently stay and work in Centurion. I am a 28 year old Tsonga guy. Chocolate dark in complexion, huge lips, tall with well-built muscles, brown eyes and size 10 feet. I don’t mean to blow my own horn, but I know many women prefer my type. I love fashion and have a very expensive taste. I’m not the guy who shops at Truworth and Markham, I prefer for expensive shops. I regard myself as a black middle class. I’m don’t earn like a CEO but I earn enough to be able to stay in a townhouse, with a help of my sugar mama(s) of course. I’ll tell you more about them in future. You’ll know more about me.

I stayed at the complex opposite Rugby Club at West Avenue. What she whispered still had echoes in my ears. I couldn’t wait for her to deliver her promises. I am a man with a huge appetite and my sexual teeth were not shy to eat until the morning. Good size, stamina and creativity can drive even a deep born again woman crazy behind closed doors. I greeted the security guards at the gate and one of them asked for R5 to buy a cigarette. I gave him R10. It’s always a great thing to invest in a trust of security guards. They were very useful when you had a ‘project’ in the house and didn’t want any disturbances from other ‘projects’. Many guys do that. You make sure the security guards know all your girlfriends and when you are occupied they will block any uninvited mosquitoes from entering. He went “chief, there is….”. I told him I can’t chat cause I had an important matter to attend to. To be honest, I was too horny to talk. I parked my car and we walked to my house. Lerato loved wearing short things and to be honest, that’s reason she caught my eye the day I met her at Centurion Mall. That particular day she was wearing a very short white dress that most people would mistake for a top. When she walked I could see the delta to her bum. The shangaan german machine in my pants was on the ‘get set’ mode. I unlocked the door and we got in. I held her by the wall and started kissing her. I zigzagged my hands on her bum and noticed she wasn’t wearing any underwear. Who wears such a short thing and not wear something underneath.

Maureen appeared from my bedroom naked with handcuffs and a whip in her hands and …..

THE END