Dammit not again!

I have a regular chat spot with my buddy, not only is this person my friend, they assist me to look at aspects of myself that are perhaps not the best. I am grateful to my buddy because even in the simplest of questions are a heap of hidden answers; in that I sometimes really have to think about who I am when I answer, that leads me on to introspect myself to check that my answers are self honest and best for all.

Today I missed my chat, it’s not the first time. What ever the excuse, be it traffic or bad phone signal I should be used to our meet up time and inform her if I can’t show up. It’s just plain courtesy surely? You may notice that I am punishing myself here as someone that should know better.

We sometimes forget stuff, it’s human, life takes over and we get busy. I saw today how there are practical steps that I can take, i.e put it in my planner ! and drop the self judgment that I have created in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that I am a bad person for forgetting to message my buddy.

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief that I am useless and within this become annoyed with myself as a form of self punishment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself in this pattern of self abuse as a programmed response within me of being in trouble and within this I have created a belief that I must be annoyed with myself because this way another will not be able to punish me in the same way as I punish myself.

I commit myself to set a reminder in my planner to remind me about my commitments. I see realise and understand that punishing myself is useless, and within this it’s not necessary to do this to myself and assume that another will be feeling the same way about me.