National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number 1-800-273-8255

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number  1-800-273-8255

Anyone else struggle with suicidal thoughts often?

It's OK if you are and you shouldn't be ashamed to talk about it or worry what anyone thinks.  It doesn't make you a weak person.  Many of the strongest people on the planet are faced with horrible things in life they don't want to go through and just leaving all of this suddenly can become a real option.

If and when you do feel this way, please talk to some positive people.  You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (I have and they are VERY nice and helpful), or even talk to a friend or family member in person or on Steemit or other social networks.  It often gets better when you talk it out but holding in very bad emotions can cause them to grow.

I don't know what all is wrong with my brain but I've been chronically depressed since puberty hit.  We never knew what was wrong but I couldn't look people in the eye or be social with other kids.  At age 30 I finally got the high functioning autism diagnosis.  No wonder I never have had a place in this World.

35 now and not much has gotten any better at all but I am doing some volunteer work.  It's just so hard to find purpose and not have any friends or use to anyone.  All I know to do is keep breathing because I can't imagine my parents having to bury me.  That's the one thing that is keeping me going.  That and the hope that I can help others somehow one day and also have a small no-kill animal shelter for abused dogs that otherwise would be put down.

I don't want this to sound like bragging in any way because it's not, it's very shameful.  But I have over 100 scars all over my body to were it's hard to wear short sleeved shirts.  Many cuts and burns that started at age 14-15.  I still don't understand why I did that almost every week for 15 years.  Alcohol sure made it worse and I've had to have many staples put in my arms where the cuts went down to the bone.

But really, being tied down to a bed for 3 days probably doens't help many people and the horrible synthetic chemicals they give you almost never work.  That's why I only will take natural medicines now like cannabis or kratom.

If nothing else Steemit can be a blog for me to get some of this stuff out as I have no friends or family to talk to.

But many of you DO have value and things CAN GET BETTER.  Please keep fighting and remember the people who will be in mourning if you pass and to cry at your funeral.  

There's always hope, even if it's just a little bit.  Do everything you can to hold onto it.

Eat healthy and exercise does more good than any pill ever will.  Even if it's parking farther away from the Supermarket to get an extra 50 steps in, anything is better than nothing.  When I'm the least active I'm the most depressed.

Keep this phone number saved in your phone, they are always there to help you work out what's going on in your mind -  

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number  1-800-273-8255

YOU HAVE VALUE!