RE: Deep Dives Research Contest - FBI Vault - Cattle Mutilation (warning: some graphic images)
My whackjob crackpot conspiracy theory is that...
JOSEPH VISSARIONOVICH STALIN DID IT!
Now you maybe saying: “Now hold the peckin’ phone, Mr. Felix. How did Yosef Visari Stalinium did it?”
Well fellow reader, as I hold the phone that pecks I’ll tell you! You see Joe V Steel, the guy that ate all the grain and paid the clouds not to rain, never really died that day in 1953. In fact, Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (Hegel) at the last minute used his Dialectics, which was in a syncretic union and synthesis with Karl Marx’s and Friedrich Engels’s Dialectics, to synthesize him to be part of his Absolute Spirit. After that point, Hegelos, Garly Marxyboo, Friedrice Engelsius, Emma Marx, Vladimir Illyich Lenin, Felix Dzerzhinsky and Joseph V Stalinade were chilling and speaking in Dialectical manners. Yet they hated America equally, HegelegeH being the first shitposter of such on America.
So first they terrorized the entire World with their newly found Dialectical powers. Then they used Karly Marxius’s and Fried Engelsase’s Materialism to materialize into being and start slaughtering cows as merely mercy kills, but they wanted to spook the USA so they started calling to nature to do the rest of the work so a full spooky synthesis can be completed. They raged on until their passions were blessed with America’s exhaustion and spooked looks.
And also because Frei Engelsine had Max Stirner’s corpse, he blessed him with some Dialectical powers and said to him: “say what you always say.” Stirneros could only respond in one way before dying yet again:
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmW7MNYQxr1Qy7qwqT3FLgknBEF8daGLhZgQ9HszLZ7rfh/7C40DCAA-1065-41A6-A4CC-5BA3FFB94E75.jpeg)
The End... also here, have your peckin’ phone back.
The End... also here, have your peckin’ phone back.
this is wonderful