Looking For Way Back

It is a bright Wednesday morning on my side of the world. It's 11 am according to my clock and even as I have woken up just an hour ago, my eyes are itchy and that is my body wanting to sleep again. I am so tired of late. Tired to even do what I love most and want to be good at- writing.

The tea sitting on the desk next to me may help wake my mind up but I don't think it can sooth this burning soul. Anger is not the right word as I would be overlooking the joy of having Maureen with me. It's like life is trying to dilute that warm feeling by throwing in some few bitter lemons for me to chew on even as I experience it.

Yesterday I didn't eat my supper again and my last 'meal' was a large glass of fresh pineapple I had for breakfast/lunch at 11 am. It's becoming a thing now but this morning I determined to eat a whole chapati with my cup of sugarless tea as I write this.

Gifts from Jeanne Flynn of Greenwood Place all the way from the UK! I met her almost two months ago while they and Leader's Quest came to visit Dagorretti Rehabilitation Centre where we (Cleanstart Kenya) are currently closing on our first Spear Course Graduation next Wednesday.

This is a letter that came from prison yesterday... A woman I can regard to as a good friend from South Africa passed it on. I am yet to read it as my emotions are all place. Her name is Thea and she is serving a three-year sentence for a trafficking drug charge.

And even as I welcome love from all corners, I feel misunderstood in a way. I am still digesting the threats and the blackmail we went through the other day. I can still feel the rage burning inside of me but I am working on it. It takes time especially because of the abuse I have undergone.

So as I look for healing, forgive my absence in a community that I want to be in. I am just looking for a way back here. Back to my pens and creative mind. Back to my old jovial self.

Also shared on my whaleshares

Thank you for coming.