# Dear @TeamHumble //12th September 2018 // Switching mindsets and heading to bed early..

Yikes, I want to be honest with you mouse, I don’t feel my best at the moment. There was so much more I wanted to do today, but my brain my body and my emotions didn’t take me to the finish line. Or I may have set the finish line out way too far…

I wanted to do more. I want to start to get ahead, to crush the rest of the UM site and to devote some brainstorming to the residuals idea I had, and cut up the audio for the podcast tomorrow and to a better job searching for for jobs on UpWork. I wanted to do more and it’s hard feeling like I fell short…

So I’m thinking my best option is to stop talking about what I want. And start talking about what I DO have.

3 Things I do have…

• a loving and supportive partner
• a roof over my head, and food in the freezer
• a chance to try again tomorrow…

I also have a body that’s carrying me through something that makes me so happy, yoga. I have an injury that’s loosing up and hurting less every day, and I have the energy to get up each day at 5:30 am and give it my best shot.

On nights like this when I’m feeling discouraged, my fear is that my best shot won’t be good enough, or it won’t take me far enough. Damn do I wish I even had another 2 or 3 hours of energy to work this evening. But I don’t. I have a headache, and a sink still full of dishes, Lol.

There I go talking about what I want, what I wish. What a dumb habit. I have so much. Maybe I’m greedy for wanting more. (Damn now I’m greedy AND whiny! lol) there’s just so much more life I’m ready to experience with you. More things I want to make, more projects I want do share.

Damn I guess that Visa application really did do a number on me . I was not mentally prepared for the kinds of questions in that thing I think. Finances, past relationships, I’m thankful I got a start, but that type of “system” stuff has this way of totally shaking me. It makes my ears hot and me feel waves of heat with chills all at the same time. All of a sudden I was reliving every time I was standing in front of a border patrol officer….

lol yas hook a girl up!

But you know what also used to make me feel that way, the Dentist. And ya girl just WILLINGLY moved a 3rd root canal appointment to be closer to time because she wanted to be proactive about getting it done this week. I’ve overcome that, I can overcome whatever this paperwork anxiety I have is. If you’re on the other side it’s worth it. It’s always been worth it when it comes to you. The thought of giving you and Bella hugs again is more than enough motivation.

I’m feeling a little battered and bruised tonight, but I know what wonders a good 8 hours of sleep can do. I’m going to give myself the same advice I gave you this afternoon. Things can change in an instant, and we have time to turn things around. Tomorrow a client could come in, price of coins could rise, opportunities can pop up. But the Universe always has the requirement of showing up, so we have to keep tying.

I love you darling and thanks for listening. I know this wasn’t my usual type of morning post but I feel like I had to talk to you about it, to leave it all on the blockchain. The highs as well as the lows, its part of being a human right? — I know the difference between a stoplight and a tree and everything! ;)

I hope you had an awesome rest, and welcome to Thursday darling. Thanks for always letting me be me… I’ll see you soon.

All my loves,
<3 Dot