Ask This Spooky Girl Anything!

With the videos comin next month, I figured I'd do somethin to answer some questions the watchers may have. Here will be a few questions I'm anticipating. If you've got questions of your own, ask 'em and I'll answer 'em as best I can.

First! "Are you really a girl?"

Yes. I am a real, live dead cartoon girl. Spiffically I'm a Type IV focused full-bodied repeating phantasm. That breaks down like this.

I'm a type IV because I have a distinct corpus, composed of ectoplasm that can appear in the real world. I can pick up and hold stuff as long as it's not too heavy. I'm focused because I haunt this B&B (or rather the guitar in this B&B). I'm full bodied because I resemble an alive human except, y'know, the color's all wrong. Arms, legs, all of it. Even looks like I'm wearing makeup, which is ridiculous, since if I tried to put makeup on my face, the brush would just phase through it. And yes, I'm repeating because every night at 2:47am, I lie down on the bed, and it catches on fire, re-enacting my death. Trust me. I don't wanna do it. It's embarassing. Especially when there's a guest sleeping in here, he wakes up at the wrong time, and the bed's on fire with all this blue shit, and there's a ghost girl right next to him passed out. The big E's thrown a fit whenever a customer goes tear-assin' out of here.

Second question! "Why are you haunting a B&B in Kentucky? I heard you died in Rhode Island!"

I'm haunting a guitar, dipstick. Big E's husband, Swingin' E bought it at auction. Since it's MY guitar, I haunt whatever building it's placed in. In this case, EB&B in Coal Run. Lot of people stay here so they can go run around the mountains on motorbikes and those four-wheeled things that look like squished dune buggies. The only good thing about it is the moonshine. Makes me wish I could drink.

Third Question! "What do you do all day since you can't leave the B&B?"

That's an easy one. I play with Lil' E, their kid. Move shit around on Swingin' E's desk while invisisble. Typical bullshit poltergeist stuff. Stackin' chairs into pyramids is the latest thing I do for giggles.

Fourth Question! "Do you know any vampires?"

Get the fuck out of here with that undead bullshit.

If anybody's got any more questions, feel free to ask. I'll be haunting this post, and responding as quickly as I can. Just remember that if guests are about, they tend to get freaked out if the laptop Swingin' E left me starts typing on its own. So I'll mostly respond while they're asleep or runnin' around the mountains.