Dating, I Suck at This Game - INTJ

They say it takes two to tango. Whether that applies to actually rock'n roll through life or to the reason why one may still be single when in their fourties isn't fully clear to me yet. Although the latter was helped by me in no small part too.

And I always was a type of solitary man, anyway.

Writing this, I recall once having mentioned being a solitary man during the earlier stages of discovery with what would become my partner in life for the next few years. Water, bridge, hindsight and all that stuff it is now clear to me that isn't the smartest thing to say during the flirting stage.

Sometimes, I just am that stupid and my mouth acts faster than my brain. Other times, it is just that for my brain it is ok to say something but the emotional side of me doesn't fully comprehend everything.

I suck at that thing called dating and romance.

In romance, people with the INTJ personality type approach things the way they do with most situations: they compose a series of calculated actions with a predicted and desirable end goal – a healthy long-term relationship. Rather than falling head over heels in a whirlwind of passion and romance, INTJs identify potential partners who meet a certain range of pre-determined criteria, break the dating process down into a series of measurable milestones, then proceed to execute the plan with clinical precision.

Like many before, and undoubtedly even more to come after, I also make use of online dating services. Actual dating sites, complete with profiles, not meat market alike swipe apps.

I love reading dating profiles. They give me an insight in who the other person could be. Thus it is no surprise that my profile is as honest as it should be and includes both a sarcasm warning and a mention about my dislike for people who get easily butthurt, which seems to be one of several national sports.

More so, my profile even includes a section with pet peeves, the #INTJ personality type, and that I'm a sapiosexual.

sa·pi·o·sex·u·al

One who finds the content's of someone else's mind to be their most attractive attribute, above and before their physical characteristics. From the Latin root "sapien", meaning wise. The term is now becoming mainstream with dating apps such as OkCupid and Sapio giving users the ability to define their sexual orientations as "Sapiosexual."
For many, defining oneself as Sapiosexual is also a statement against the current status quo of hookup culture and superficiality, where looks are prized above all else. Source

Among the pet peeves there's a mention about simple woman, a term I dislike because I truly think that they mean easygoing rather than actually belittling themselves to simpleton and, of course, asking what sapiosexual means.

As you already guessed, in this vapid and fluid era of swiping left or right my dating profile doesn't truly help my own case.

It is also rather common that somebody with simple woman in her profile will actually message me and ask what sapiosexual means. Which more often than not results in hitting that block user button or sending a Let Me Google That For You link. As always, just me making sure that I do not help my case.

Yet, sometimes, surprised and actually find the pleasure of reading long, elaborate messages in my inbox. They are rare but they happen. Like unpacking a surprise almost.

It's been a while since I've last been surprised. Maybe I've slowly reached the point I need to broaden my search and look beyond the nearest city, even though it's one of the largest cities in the countries.

Maybe I shouldn't make the error I usually make. The typical INTJ error, or decision, rather.

... if they are shot down too many times they may come to the conclusion that everyone else is simply too irrational, or simply beneath them intellectually. Source