How to Get Any Girl on Any Dating Site

Copy the following into your profile. 

I am a black belt in most of the martial arts, except tai bo,  which means I can, and do, protect whole villages just by glancing at them in a certain commanding way so that I have my hands free to carry, or drive, damsels, children, and even some of the lighter men (I don’t mean less heavy) away from danger.

When I’m not skydiving, or training various large animals, I’m usually at my home, one of them anyway — working on either: 1) water filtration to end global thirst or 2) helping out the elderly couple down the street. They have a hard time getting to the grocery store more and more these days.

I was practically born retired in that honestly, these days, I have to pay people to stop sending checks. So money isn’t everything. All the money in the world can’t buy happiness but it sure does allow for a lifestyle you only read about in movies.

I may have seen and done just about everything (that's another story, literally) but that doesn’t mean I don’t still enjoy the little things, like: keeping the surface of the ice-cream in the container completely flat as I eat it, jumping in puddles and getting all wet in front of business men (and women), kicking back in the old sweat pants and watching 26 seasons of my favourite Netflix show in a row without stopping, being serious, being goofy and rolling around with dogs or doing yoga before work. 

Thank you for reading about me. I hope you are having a great day.

I hope you buy my book: “Just About Everything - And I’m still not bored”. 100% of the profits go to charity of your choice. Just use the coupon code on the last page.