Could Worst-Case-Scenario Thinking Be Destroying Your Love Life?

in #dating3 years ago (edited)

Has anyone here ever felt hurt or frustrated by anything along the following lines: 

  • Maybe someone doesn’t follow up or call you when they said they would 
  • Maybe someone doesn’t reciprocate or appreciate affection or kindness you offer them 
  • Maybe someone doesn’t consider or respect your feelings  

Does anything like that sound familiar to you? 

Well, I want to talk about that right now. 

First of all, I want you to know that I acknowledge how much that sort of thing can hurt… and how it can hold you back from getting the kind of lasting love you want. 

Trust me, I can absolutely relate to these feelings. I know, only too well how painful they can be.

However, I want you to know that you don’t have to suffer through these sorts of experiences. 

How? 

By realizing that there is a fundamental difference between what happens to us and the meaning that we attach to that. 

For example, have you ever been cut off in traffic by another driver? 

Maybe you felt angry or frustrated toward that other driver as they sped off at well over the speed limit. 

But how would you feel if you turned the corner, and you saw that same car pulled up in front of the emergency room at the hospital, with that driver helping an injured friend into the hospital? 

Suddenly you wouldn’t feel so angry or frustrated, I”m guessing. 

As you can see, the meaning we attach to something determines how we react to every action or event that happens. 

And this is relevant to much more than just road rage… It can control your dating life and the relationships you are having (or not having). 

For example, if someone doesn’t text you back right away, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are ignoring you.  

They may have forgotten their phone at home. They might be busy doing something urgent. They might be wracking their brain trying to think of the perfect witty thing to reply to you with so that they can impress you. 

To instantly jump the the conclusion that they are ignoring you… and to act on that assumption could actually destroy a potentially great relationship before it even has the chance to get started.  

So before you fill in the blanks with worst-case-scenario projection, take a moment and actually collect the data before you take action and potentially destroy a budding relationship.

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Hey, first of all you need to respect your won feelings. If someone doesn't have the same feelings as you... you just need to move on. Maybe it's not the right timing, maybe your soulmate is somewhere else waiting for you. ;)