Online Dating - Theoretically and Practically a joke!
So i'm sure that many of you over the years, you've at least tried online dating, been drawn into the allure of meeting women from all over the local towns and cities in the hopes of a relationship, or for some people, a one night stand every week.
Well Online dating has taken the world by storm and 80% of the Worlds population has tried it at some point, but my opinion is not to bother. Online dating is basically a forum for a lot of women to show off how they look, for men to advertise sex websites under the guise of women, or basically for the very very attractive.
Personally, i've tried online dating, and unfortunately i still am, i'm currently on 2 different sites, and there's a lot of people out there that i wouldn't mind meeting and getting to know, but unfortunately it all comes down to the same thing. Attraction, and unfortunately i don't have any. I'm not a good looking fella, i don't exactly have charm or a sparkling personality, unfortunately i'm a bit of an introvert, as are most people who might consider using the online dating.
I've been trying now for months, and so far i've had a few people "like" my picture/profile but they've either just done that and not talked, or they've liked, and spoken to me for 10 seconds before saying "would you like to see me naked? i won't do it here, but i have a website you can sign up to, you don't need to pay anything they'll ask for card details, but if you use my code it's free." The amount of times i've seen that, if i got paid a £ everytime, i could just buy a damn wife.
Unfortunately, for women it comes down to the same thing every time, they say they are looking for someone to date, and when you ask outright, most will say that looks don't matter too much. However, just think about this for a second, they say looks don't matter and it's the personality that counts, but when was the last time you saw, say, a very attractive woman, go up to even a mediocre man and start a conversation to see if he has a good personality?
The answer... Never or almost never, the fact is that everyone is attracted by the initial impact which is how someone looks. You can maybe start talking to someone online and they may like you, and if they like you at that point, it's true looks may not matter. The Problem is, all sites have a rating system where you rate someones picture. This means that genuine men like myself who are looking for a relationship get passed over again and again for the smooth talking, muscled, six pack men who manage to get a leg over every other week.
But, let's just say for a second it wasn't like that, and that you managed to get someone talking to you. Unfortunately if you're like me, that's just the first round, i'm an introvert, i've grown up listening and watching people. No one engaged me in conversation much when i was younger, and my hobbies and likes don't really match up with most women. I'm a gamer geek who enjoys japanese shows. I don't read much, and i watch a lot of movies, but i don't get out, i don't have adventures, whether that due to financial, lack of interest or any other reason you can think of.
So when i'm talking to someone, i don't have the facilities in mind to be able to start a conversation, i can try and maybe get a few minutes, but then women, they go silent. I've never once had the experience of a woman attempting to start a conversation with myself, or change the topic to keep the conversation going, they all leave it up to men to keep the conversation going. They say that they want someone stimulating, but there are many different types of stimulation in a conversation. But have they ever thought, that maybe we are looking for stimulation too, for someone to engage us men.
Women, have become so used to men doing the chasing that they just wait for that perfect one to come to them. Now don't get me wrong, that's not all women, but it's 99% of women that you find on any online dating platform. Unfortunately, this is probably all i'm going to have access to. I'm not very good with social cues, and i've never once had anyone come up to me and tell me that they like me. They want to be treated equally, but only when it suits, in things like love, and romance, they want men to do all the work, men to look like adonis. Now i know, there's going to be women on here who complain and say men are the same, and your right. A lot of men are the same they go after model looking type girls, or ones with big breasts.
The issue is, for men like myself who have resorted to online dating, looks aren't that important. Yes i have some standards, but it doesn't matter if there's "a little more to love" as long as they carry themselves well and know how to present themselves. If they look like a blob, or as my father used to call me "a sack of shit tied in the middle" then i'm sorry to be mean but no. Honestly it's the same for women, if they see a slightly overweight man, they don't bother, and sometimes i probably do look like a sack of shit tied in the middle, but the point is looks are over rated.
Online dating at it's core is faulty, generic and has become monetised to a point where no one is able to find someone unless they can afford plastic surgery, are able to afford a monthly subscription to "premium" where they can boost their "popularity" all this does is show that someone has enough money to be able to afford to spoil a woman and give her presents all the time, but it doesn't show the true nature of a person.
Anyway, i'm sorry for such a long post, and i know a lot of you haven't even gotten this far, but there's a lot of lonely people out there, who are trying the best that they can, and unfortunately are still being over looked because of race, how they look, or because maybe they haven't had the practice of talking about popular trends, because maybe they just don't find that interesting.
Anyway i'll leave with this message, don't give up, try and find someone who makes you happy...
Lonely in Llantalbot