10 Things NOT to do on a First Date

There’s a lot of advice moving around the web when it comes to dating—what to wear, what to eat, what to talk about, what to never, ever write on an online profile—& while most of this info is actually pretty useful, the point remains that the finest first dates are the ones where you’re able to be yourself. Still, we can all agree that there are certain things that just shouldn’t be done, or said about on a first date—by a woman or a man.
Here, 10 tips that outline what not to do on a first date if you’re looking to make a confident impression.

DON’T be wishy-washy.

Nobody—& we mean nobody—likes a pushover, so if your date tells you he’s planned dinner at a sushi joint & you don’t eat fish, or he wants to hang at a cocktail lounge but you don’t drink, speak up. It’ll only look weird if you tell him all that after you’re already seated & waiting to order. Same goes for being decisive: If he asks what you’d like to eat, drink, or share for dessert, don’t say “I don’t care, whatever is fine.”
Expressing what you want isn’t bossy, it conveys confidence—and is incredibly attractive. Having the personality of tepid water, however? Not so much.

DON’T show up late on purpose.

On a first date, you’ll make a stronger impression if you show up on time. Would you want him to show up late? Probably not. Huh? It takes you two hours to do your hair & makeup? Sounds like you’re perfectly aware of that fact, which means you’ll know exactly how much time you need to prepare ahead of time, even if it’s five hours (no judgment!)

DON’T wear things that are too high, too short, or too tight.

And not because of what he might think—this tip is for you, & you alone. A first date isn’t the time to take those fierce six-inch stilettos out for a spin, or wear that dress that you think is a little too tight. Why? Because first dates are anxiety filled enough & being uncomfortable in your clothes only makes it worse.
Plus, won’t it suck to not be able to walk a few blocks on a nice night because your heels are too high, or have to spend time awkwardly pulling at your too-short hemline? Instead, wear things you know look good on you but won’t hinder you from being cool, calm, & collected. Need some ideas? Check out these date night outfit ideas & these 50 flawless spring looks.

DON’T be surgically attached to your phone.

This is the big one, ladies: The act of compulsively checking your phone every two minutes could be a bonafide deal breaker. There’s nothing ruder than trying to have a conversation with a person who’s constantly stating at their screens—wouldn’t you be put off if he were paying more attention to his iPhone than to you?
While you’re at it, we know it’s commonplace for folks to keep their cell phones on the table, but it’s not polite when you’re getting to know somebody. Responding to every beep, text, alert, & vibration is distracting & unnecessary. Be mature & keep it in your bag, & glimpse at it while he goes to the bathroom, if you must.
Likewise, do not post any status updates, tweet about your date in real time, or snap any candid Instagram pics, or post to Snapchat when he’s not looking. That’s just creepy

DON’T try to prove your worth using shallow tactics.

What not to do on a first date? Maniacally mention your ex-boyfriend, your dating history, all the time you spend at the gym, the laundry list of guys lining up around the block to date you, or how everyone says you look exactly like Fox. If you get the urge, step up your game & act your age. And, odds are, if you’re really
Try this instead: Highlight some recent accomplishments that are about you. He’ll be way more impressed that way.

DON’T think it’s cool to not eat.

Most guys will freely tell you that there’s nothing more cliché (read: lame) than a girl who doesn’t eat on a date. If you think not ordering dinner, or only taking a birdlike bite of your entree will make you appear skinnier, prettier, sexier, more feminine, or more mysterious, guess what? It won’t. What it will do? Probably not get you a second date.

DON’T sit there like the Queen of Sheba when the check comes.

Even if you’re of the firm belief that your date should always pay, it’s a mistake to think he will—especially on the first date. If he goes for the check right away, offer to split the bill, or at least leave the tip. He’ll probably decline, so make sure you offer to get the cab to the next destination, the movie tickets, or a round of drinks.
However, if you offer to pay or split, be prepared to actually pay or split. Don’t play games. Not offering at all, however, could translate to entitled.

DON’T get wasted.

There’s not much to say here without sounding preachy, but keep this in mind: Having to be carried home by a guy you barely know isn’t chic (nor is puking in the cab, doing something you regret, or crying at the dinner table.) Sure, a couple of cocktails can be fun & loosen the mood, but knowing your limits—and sticking to them—will help make a stronger first impression.

Don’t not ask questions—just make them the right ones.

A foolproof way to ensure that conversation will always be flowing is to simply ask your date things, although—given the fact that we never know how comfortable others are with casual conversation—that might be easier said than done. The trick successfully vetting a potential suitor on a first date, while simultaneously keeping the energy light & fun, is knowing what questions to ask, & how to ask them.
For example, work, his family, his hobbies, pop culture, his favorite music are all surefire bets. Four things never to ask him about on a first date? Politics, religion, his exes, & how much cash he pulls in. If you’re savvy, you’ll realize that certain questions–even the most basic ones—have the ability to tell a lot about a person.

DON’T give TMI, too soon.

Sharing personal details about your life after knowing anyone for 45 minutes is never a good idea. Wanna get married on the beach in Mexico by the age of 3o, & have a baby boy named Henry by the age of 32? Keep it to yourself for now. Likewise, steer clear of personal topics like your contentious relationship with your mother, any ailments you have, or major work woes —all valid, but none are appropriate first date topics.

DON’T stalk him after the date—social, or otherwise.

In today’s world, texting & catching up via social media is a viable means of communication after a date, but there are a few rules we all should follow. If you had a wonderful time & feel like shooting him a casual text later that night or the next day, go for it.
A good text: “Had a really good time, thanks again!” is fine.
A bad text: “OMG literally had the best time EVER, ur sooooo amazing & I can’t wait to see u again. Wanna do brunch with me & my girls tomorrow??! LMK ASAP xoxox!!!” is not.
In addition, try to resist the urge to follow him on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Vine, Linkedin, or any other conceivable social network until you’ve gone out a couple of times. Even in today’s connected world, remaining a creature of (a little) mystery is a powerful thing.