This Month in Humanity's Final Season - Comedy Open Mic Round 7 Entry

So about a week ago my account hacked within hours after I called Mark Zuckerberg a shitface. coincidence? maybe, conspiracy? I think so, Hotel? Trivago. Anyway I did that intro specifically to remind @DJ123 to boost me up.

On Thursday NY Daily Tracy Morgan dedicates new show to everybody who sold and used crack I Guess each artist eventually has to thank their base. How much longer are we supposed to pretend Tracy Morgan is funny, just asking because when he came out of coma and said 'I went to the other side' and spoke to God my question was: Why didn't you stay there?

Rapper DMX is going to Jail over tax fraud after it was reported that rapper dodged paying 1.7 million dollars, Proving once and for all thatX didn't give it to anyone. I may not knowWhere the hood at but prison is that way.

BURGER KING MANAGER SEXUALLY ASSAULTED 10-YEAR-OLD GIRL WHO WAS FOUND WEARING DOG COLLAR. Terrible news, just a bad thing done by Burger King. But no real harm was done as the girl was saved before having to eat anything from Burger King.

CHINA DEPLOYS MILITARY RADAR SYSTEM TO FIGHT MOSQUITOES with a continuous rise of poverty in China, Chinese government decided to spend 12.9 millions to fight mosquitoes. The Chinese government were rather BUGGED as the mosquitoes were getting smarter and seemed to developed a moorse-quitoes code to communicate. That comes after it was believed that they were gaining religious following by gathering at mosquitoes. Also this comes as an attempt to fight prostitution as those mosquitoes wouldn't stop sucking.

SCHOOL SHOOTING VICTIM WAS GIVEN DETENTION FOR PROTESTING SCHOOL SHOOTINGS. It is also expected that the student would get cancer next week.

POLL SHOWS, MOST YOUNG AMERICANS THINK TRUMP IS MENTALLY UNFIT TO BE PRESIDENT. "There's no way that man is mentally stable to run this country" Said Gina, few minutes before eating three tide pods.

GAZA PROTESTERS KILLED AMID STANDOFF BETWEEN ISRAEL AND THOUSANDS OF PALESTINIANS DEMANDING RIGHTS, Protesters were protesting the murder of protesters at the previous protest protesting protesters' murder at the protest prior to that, protesters protesting protesters' death at this protest next week are expected to die as well. in other news: the word "Protest" has lost all it's meaning.

Pope Francis Believes Hell Exists Says The Vatican. Wait, this is news to Christians? Hell does exist, it's where all the Bernie Sanders voters, Homosexuals, Arabs, Mexicans, Immigrants and Jews are going. I'll be alright with all of us going there as long as it includes everyone using the Dmania Tag.

MAN IMPERSONATING POLICE OFFICER IS SHOT DEAD AFTER KILLING OFF-DUTY KENTUCKY COP. Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

Finally, It was on the 24th of March where students took protests to the street, after weeks of advertisements, town halls, T.V airtime it finally happened. The demonstration had concerts, stages were built, microphones were set up, and all those high-tech and hard work that only 16 and 17 years old can recognize, you know, the typical sleepover stuff. The whole thing was of course headlined by Emma Gonzales

A penis shaped girl with who's always screaming or has her eyes closed, the girl is a walking demonstration of an orgasm. Seen above with the flag of Cuba on her right shoulder, why not? Cuba has always been a great example of freedom and safety, glad they citizens don't have guns there otherwise they would have found a way to defend themselves god forbids. Cuba is mainly known for it's freedom of speech, America should really take notes from Cuba as it comes 173rd in the freedom index, ahead of 7 countries. No wonder Emma knows the language..... oh wait, she doesn't

The other headline is energized Hitler

David Hogg's most recent anti gun action is calling for advertisers to pull ads from Laura Ingraham's show, now she and the employees on her show face the danger of unemployment. What a hero! Charismatic as ever and calling for gun ban, no wonder people see young Hitler in him.

Too rude to the kids? I agree, first of all David Hogg isn't Hitler, obviously. Hitler had a mustache, also Hitler went through puberty, Emma isn't shaped like a penis she looks like a pop star. She reminds me a lot of Britney Spears

In all seriousness though, the entirety of the last month and few weeks has been those people hovering my news, they called everyone who supports gun a killer, Nzai, greedy, heartless, and accused them of being okay with children dying. All the meanwhile everyone was advocating them to lead America and have the voting age down to 16 and then attack whoever criticize these "children". Which one is it? Are they leading us? Or do they need our protection? I have no problem not fucking with children, I'm not a priest. As I understand, kids need protection. and they can get away with everything.

In case you haven't noticed that's a picture of a baby grabbing people by their ass, I'd share the picture doing that to compare but I can't before the trial is over.Get it? Because I'm a grown up. And grown ups don't ask for ads boycott when being called names, grown ups don't call people greedy killers who are okay with people dying without being sued and called on. Grown ups handle their issues like... you guessed it. Grown ups.

So which one is it? If they are kids, Fine. But if they are adults then I have a picture I need to share.