Daily Discussion No. 2: "Black Friday" and Holiday Shopping - Too Much Emphasis on Consuming Rather than Connecting?
Welcome to another edition of "Daily Discussion," a community engagement initiative to increase interaction on Steemit!
To learn more about the Daily Discussion initiative, please visit the Introductory Post for a full description and guidelines.
It's "Black Friday" and Holiday Shopping Begins!
California Poppy
Here in the US, today is what is traditionally known as "Black Friday" which is considered by many as the kick-off of the holiday shopping season.
Many "Big Box" and chain retail stores go to great lengths to try to lure people in with amazing offers and various gimmicks. Is it really holiday joy, or consumerism gone mad?
As stores offer increasingly intriguing deals to attract shoppers, each year there are injuries as people stampede to try to snap up deals... often at 6:00am in the morning, when the stores first open.
Meanwhile, some online retailers have such heavy site traffic that shoppers are finding it difficult to check out and completely their web purchases.
Of course, I realize that many may live in places that don't have the equivalent of a Day-after-Thanksgiving Black Friday, so let's widen the topic.
Is this the "Spirit" of the Season?
I'm 57 years old, and when I was little the holidays we're mostly about FOOD and PEOPLE. Sure, "getting gifts" was a nice thing, but it wasn't the driving force of the holidays... even when I was a little kid.
Have we lost our sense of direction?
Today, it often seems like the entire emphasis of the Holiday Season is on "consuming;" everything is "buy, buy, buy!" And sometimes it feels like the whole occasion has been reduced to a slightly surreal contest of "who WON at Christmas," like it's all a contest of giving and/or getting the biggest pile of stuff.
So, for today's discussion I pose this question-- has society; our world in general, just gone overboard on exploiting the holiday season as a commercial opportunity? Has the original "reason for the season" been lost? Has "consuming" replaced "connecting?" Or do you think things as much as they have always been? Or, alternately, do you see the consumption as a good thing; a sign that people are better off?
Share your thoughts and experiences below!
And remember... the purpose of the Daily Discussion initiative is to interact, and however little or large your contribution, it does matter! If you write an entire post as a response, remember to use the tag #dailydiscussion and include "Daily Discussion No. 2" as part of your title, then share a link to your post in the comment section!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 171124 16:30 PDT
Just watched this video yesterday about consumerism.
It's all about buy,buy,buy like you said. Buyers get screwed through planned obsolescence. They're literally throwing money away.
I rarely buy stuff just to buy. I only buy clothes about every 3 years or so and when I do I thrift shop. Also when I do buy a product I'd rather get a quailty product even if its more expensive because I dont want to have to buy a new one next year.
Thanks for the video, Earl... in some ways it illustrates what I consider the Achilles Heel of Capitalism: It lives on the paradigm of eternal growth, but growth (as a function) will eventually outrun our need to HAVE and USE what it creates. Unless we learn to live with "enough" rather than eternally seeking "more" and "bigger" we'll be hosed, in the long run. Maybe not in my lifetime or yours, or even our kids'... but 200? 300? years down the road...
It has been probably 20 years since I have bought any "stuff" that wasn't either a "needed upgrade" (like a new computer, or a phone) or a core essential, like food. It has been almost that long since I've bought a new article of clothing. As best I recall, the last "new" thing my wife or I bought was a set of sheets... maybe 6-7 years ago.
Wow. And I thought 3 years was a long time without buying anything new.
My wife works in retail. I won't mention the name of the national chain she works for but you would recognize it (not walmart). Her store opened YESTERDAY and was open all night. Like you say it was nukin futz.
I wouldn't go shopping on black friday on a bet. Of course I seldom go shopping anyway..Hates it I do.
Which brings to mind a phenomena that I noticed a buncha years ago.
I have two sisters...they lived many miles away from our parents. One day at a family get-together I heard one say to the other..."lets go to lubbock (fifty miles away) and go shopping"
So they did.
I call the phenomena 'recreational shopping' (I consider it to be a form of masochism).
An argument could be made that it dates back to the old days when wimmen folk were 'gatherers' while the men hunted.
Hunting and gathering require two TOTALLY different mind-sets.
My wife used to work in the 'mens department' (clothing) she confirms what I say. Most men HATE to go shopping..and they are basically helpless in a store. The women shoppers were happy and cheerful..the men were grumpy and pissed off.
The only shopping I like to do is grocery shopping and home improvement shopping. I could spend all day around food and tools. LOL
I cannot remember the last time I participated in Black Friday shopping but I have gone midnight shopping on Christmas Eve just to say I did it once. There are a few things that drive me nuts in the holiday season: Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving; Salvation Army bell ringers, and people who turn mean bargain hunting for stuff that's supposed to bring joy. I don't get it.
I LOATHE christmas music...
me too. it makes me want to howl and rip my hair out.
It's hideous. What's even worse is showing up in retail stores (usually "big box" stores) in September or early October and they already have Christmas displays up.
That brings up some interesting considerations.
I've worked in various forms of retail for much of my adult life (probably +/- 20 years, all told... and I certainly agree on the point of "recreational shopping." Apart from which, mean and women approach shopping quite differently... I do most of our grocery shopping and I am extremely good at it, from the perspective of getting good deals and value for money... but I attribute that to what I would almost call a sort of "gamification" of the process.
Now, if you let us menfolk loose at a place like Cabela's or Harbor Freight Tools? My observation is that we become a whole lot like the wimmin folks. But it's still not "recreational." My observation on that end is that there's a "social aspect" to much female shopping... the interaction is actually more important than what's in the store. In fact, I remember occasionally asking my mother about some of her shopping trips with her friends... and half the time she couldn't even tell what stores she's been in. Now, a guy might be able to spend two hours at Harbor Freight (I've done that!) but there's more of an "active mission" involved; visualizing projects in my head, planning, and stuff. And it tends to be a solitary form of shopping enjoyment rather than a group/social thing.
Generally, I don't get grumpy in stores... but I'm gonna attribute that to having worked behind a lot of counters, and I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that grumpiness.
Most men ARE pretty helpless in stores... especially if the store relates to items outside our normal comfort zones.
you're right. When I go to HomeDepot I'm on a mission. I'm HUNTING.
I get rilly annoyed that the people who work there don't know where stuff is. I get even more annoy to find that it's been moved since I was there the last time.
don't get me started about stacking stuff in the aisle so I can't even walk thru or bend down to check the lower shelf without knocking stuff over.
When I go to (finally) buy something it's because I've researched it quite a lot. When I find (usually) that I know more about THEIR product than they do...well In general I have contempt for sales people.
That includes high ticket items...thirty thousand dollar cars...and one hundred and fifty thousand dollar trucks. The last truck I bought was after stopping at about twenty dealerships nation wide. It's incredible how STUPID some truck salesmen were in 1999.
Yes. THAT. It's one of the greatest time-wasting devices used by retailers... allegedly done in the name of "increasing sales" on the assumption that customers will see products they don't normally see, when things have been moved around. Normally it just makes me angry enough that I'm more likely to go shop a competitor's store, instead.
or online.
but the webdesigners are even more stupid than the store managers.
I know that's a stretch..how can anyone be THAT stupid....you wonder if their mommies still dresses them every morning.
Considering that many of them are rounding 30 and are living on a couch in their parents' basement, maybe we shouldn't be surprised...
It was the same for me when I was a kid and I'm a hair older than you. It was a season for people and food. Gifts were a bonus. I don't remember exactly when it became the biggest money grab of the year but seems to get worse every year. Big business make most of their profits for the year on Black Friday.
When did society become so commercialised? It is not only Christmas that brings out the greediness. We also have Valentines day, Father's Day, Mother's Day and a host of other holidays or special occasions that demand that we spend our hard earned cash for chachkies we don't need or really want. We are pushed into buying, using credit cards that are maxed to their outer limits.
So, we are stressed buying things that will take us into the next year paying off the credit cards. We are stressed because everything has to be Christmas card perfect. The ads tell us so. Everyone buys into this holiday cheer. Then comes the doom and gloom of January, after you spent all you money, maxed out the cards and have no idea how you will pay for it before next Christmas comes around.
Yes, you're quite right about all those other holidays creeping up... what we used to call "Hallmark Holidays" when it seemed like they were just a rationalization by greeting card companies to get us to spend more money on cards... seemingly for no reason.
Now? It just seems obsessive and unhealthy to me... like somehow "things" have been made a substitute for actually caring and taking time with those we care about. And some of those other holidays? They feel (to me at least) FAR more like an obligation than something I actually enjoy participating in. And I really don't care what society tells me the "perfect" holiday looks like.
I've been off the hook for holiday shopping for nearly a decade.
We used to go broke trying to buy gifts for everyone for the purpose of putting something under the Christmas tree.
Then I whittled the habit down to "Secret Santa" where you pick a name out of the hat and only shop for that one family member.
Then I began to tell my entire family to stop giving me presents because I reject the commercialism. I volunteered to make Christmas dinner and that was my "present".
But I actually stopped buying Christmas presents for my kids when I gave them a choice. At the time I was a singer/soloist and I really wanted my kids to attend Midnight Mass with me - not necessarily for the religion, but because they never heard me sing for an audience before. I told them it was the only gift I wanted and if they decided they didn't want to go then I couldn't afford Christmas presents. They chose not to go and I had a fat wallet that year. The tradition continues and frankly, I'm glad.
I'm just not into the whole commercialism thing... oddly enough, because I have spent about 17 years of my adult life in various forms of "gifty" retail... and I soured on people's behavior; many were angry, many were acting out of a sense of obligation; many were in a "spending competition" and it all just felt wrong.
Food, though... I'm all about the food. And if someone wants to give me food (as in, their homemade strawberry preserves from the summer, or their freshly caught crab or salmon... then I'm a happy and grateful recipient.
I couldn't agree with you more. This is why people are so stressed out and beat during the Christmas time. Christmas is about giving, but its not about giving presents. It's about giving and sharing the love.
I have never gone shopping on Black Friday or Boxing Day and I don't tend to. I am not in favor of crazy busy stores and traffic, never did and I'm not about to start either.
For me, it's definitely about giving LOVE and TIME... and I am certainly not opposed to the giving of food. My wife and I have reached a point where-- when someone asks-- what we "want" for Christmas is food items... someone made great preserves or apple brandy during the summer? THAT we will surely enjoy.
I pretty much avoid stores on super busy days... but then I've also been a shopkeeper for much of my adult life!
One of the things I love about living here is that the focus is still on family and food (and also homemade wine). I think it's definitely gotten worse. I remember my aunts talking about going Black Friday shopping, but it was Friday morning, not Thursday night or 4 in the morning. I certainly got more presents than I ever needed, but it seems like it's more now and also more expensive stuff. I committed when my older kids were little to three presents from us. One toy, one thing they need, and one family adventure. They do get stuff from Santa, but we don't go over the top with that either. My mother, however, is a different story. She gets a little out of control. I think there's a lot of focus on proving your love based on how much you spend, and that, to me, is the saddest thing.
This brings up something else of interest... you live in Belize where the cost/standard of living is different from here in the US... which gives rise to different values, perhaps. I spent my teen years in Spain, and the emphasis was more on "celebrations" than on things or gift giving. Our Spanish friends would give us things like cakes, or wine, or maybe a bottle of brandy. Not "things."
My point being, some of this is "cultural," but some of it is also "disposable income" related. Here in the US we see people who clearly can't afford it spend large sums of money on gifts... my relatives back in Denmark rarely do... interesting proposition, considering your mother... "Love = money spent?" Is that what US values have become?
Right. I think that's certainly true to a degree. Part of the issue is certainly how much money do you really have to blow. However, tourist season is already picking up, so the dollars are starting to flow, and most people live in homes that have been in their families forever, so very few are paying any rent or mortgage. And Guatemala is really close, so a lot of people just boat down and buy there and sneak back up to avoid duty. So, I think people really could blow a fair amount on toys if they wanted to. It seems, though, that they prefer to spend it on the celebration - lots of rum and food.
I think that is, indeed, what US values have become. I think as far as my mother goes, she shows them love in lots of ways, but she wants them to have the special experience like the kids on tv. She never wants anyone left out or feeling less. She always makes sure they know that she spends the same amount on each grandchild. It's honestly a lot of pressure.
I don't go Christmas shopping on Thanksgiving or Black Friday!! Yes, Thanksgiving should be about getting together with family and/or friends. Yes, consuming has replaced connecting for a large majority of people! My husband and I don't spend thousands of dollars at Christmas. We didn't do it when our children were growing up and we don't do it now. We get together with family and eat traditional Christmas food and then go to church on Christmas Eve. It's fun to give gifts at Christmas, but we aren't trying to break the bank to impress our friends or family!
And that-- to me-- feels like the right and proper approach to the holiday season. This whole feeling that everyone is engaged in a giant "content" to see who "wins at Christmas" is just offputting to me... and yet it is also very pervasive, especially in US society.
I try not to 'buy' any xmas presents for anybody anymore. It's all about the consumerism now and it's really disgusting to see people so consumed by it.
My worry is people getting presents for my kid. How do you stop other people from giving him useless pieces of plastic that he doesn't need? Then because they keep showering him with useless things, he's learning that that is the normal thing to do and the big corporations will suck him in with the rest of them. Unless I put a great deal of effort to reverse the brainwashing. Of course, I'll put in the work, but it would be a whole lot easier if it could just be avoided altogether.
I still try to respect and understand "gift giving for kids" around the holidays, but you're exactly right about the message it sends when you shower your kids (or ANY kid) with a huge pile of "things." I'm still reminded of the popular bumper sticker: "The best things in life are not THINGS" that I occasionally see.
But as you say, it can be a challenge. We can teach our own (currently it's our grandchildren we're trying to teach) as much as possible... but they still interact with their friends at school, so there are lots of questions to be answered.
I've passed the stage which I consume for the sake of consuming. But having a big discount for my long wanted item on special day like this is great too.
I certainly won't pass up a great deal if I find one... but I'm just not that into "stuff" in the first place, and I don't measure the enjoyment of the holidays-- by ANY means-- in terms of how muich stuff is given and received.
Oh I forgot to mention our easterners dont really celebrate black friday in any sense other than the shopping frenzy. Sure you should cherish the experience more than those materials.
The truth that I think it is somewhat contradictory to observe how today's society is heading towards desperate consumerism as a form of recreation and self-saturation to fill gaps that can be sentimental and affective; and at the same time finish more angry, empty and alone than when the odyssey of compulsive shopping began. In spite of everything, I do not seem so good or so bad on Black Friday, on the one hand we can take advantage of good deals but on the other hand the Christmas start date is distorted.
Certainly, it does seem a little distorted. When I was a boy, it seemed like December 1st was when a few decorations might start to appear. It seemed rare that we did any Christmas shopping before maybe... December 10th?
Now I sometimes hear holiday music in shops as early as October... even BEFORE Halloween.