Everyone has ever thought "My life is a rubbish and I have to change it now!" Maybe it happened to you when you had to stay in the office late for three nights in a row. Or when you realized that the exits with your friends had become routine and were limited to tell the same five stories as always and take the same drink week after week. No matter the moment it happened, the feeling is the same: you did not dream about that kind of life, and you want to transform it. So, you decide to revolutionize everything: I'm going to Paris to study at an art school! But despite the allure of a new beginning, experts say that, if it's about change, the biggest one is not necessarily the best.

Why radicals sometimes fail?

Wanting to change radically is a natural urgency, which is intensified by our "all or nothing" culture. "Oddly enough, it feels like it's easier to take a big turn than to deal with everyday problems and deal with them," says Amy Applebaum, life counselor at LA. Another factor: our brains are trained to idealize significant transformations. In other words, when you dream of moving to California and becoming an actress, your mind focuses on the sun, the beach and your first kiss on stage with Ryan Gosling. "You do not think about the traffic, the high cost of living or how much you will miss your family until you get there," says Dan Ariely, author of Predictably Irrational.
Of course, actions that improve life, such as getting out of an unhealthy relationship or a job that is killing you, are worthwhile sometimes. But, in general, very elaborate and large-scale plans require so much effort that you could be frustrated or fail to put them into practice. And, thus, you return to the starting point.

The power of small changes

The small turns, on the other hand, can be incredibly powerful. "In the end, what makes us happy every day are the simple events that take place in our routine," says the author of The How of Happiness. Sometimes we are so busy planning our life on such a large scale that we stop giving importance to the small things that add joy to our well-being, like being able to eat a dessert in the snack or wake up with our partner, since we consider that as guaranteed things. in our day to day. So, the goal is to introduce subtle modifications that give you a new perspective without completely leaving your comfort zone. Per the studies, the most effective changes are those that transform your routine or place you in a new environment.
For example, going to the gym in the morning instead of at night, would leave you that free time to go out with your friends. Or it would also allow you to lie down at a more reasonable hour, and feel more rested and with more energy the next day. And if you are dying for a change of scenery, you do not necessarily have to move to a city located thousands of kilometers from where you now reside. An apartment at the other end of the city will make you meet new restaurants, new stores and get along with other people. Even taking a different route to the office can help you better appreciate where you live and put you in a different mood.

How to give baby steps?

Ironically, to make a small change, you must think big first. Find out what is causing you dissatisfaction, and act contrary to what you have done until today. If you're frustrated by staying single, ask yourself what would make you happy (Meet a wonderful guy?) And think about how to solve the problem easily (going to a new restaurant on Saturdays instead of going back to the same old one, or doing the Shopping during the week, when singles go.
If that change does not improve your prospects, try something new next week. Life consists of constant trial and error.
Those small modifications that you are going to make in your life will cause a chain effect and improve other areas in your life that you did not even know needed improvement.