The troubles of not being able to recognize people #visually impaired

Not having a central vision and therefore seeing 5% can suck sometimes. One of my biggest struggles is not being able to recognize people easily. It makes me feel and do things that I don’t like. Of course you learn how to deal with it but it is never fun. Below are some examples to show you what I experience.   

Wen I am outside I can see most people around me. I can see when there are people walking on the other side of the road, I can see them bike past me. The reason why I can see those things is because I still have my peripheral vision. That is also why I can still bike. The strange thing is that although I can see people, I often have trouble telling if there are 3 or 4 people walking, if it is a man or a woman, what age they are. I often only recognize ‘it’ as a human. (I do play this game with myself that I try to guess if a man or woman past me by on the bike by smelling them. Please don’t think that I am super weird right now haha, I mean smelling their perfume when it accidentally comes along with the wind while passing me by).   

However, I cannot see people sitting in cars behind closed windows. This causes some unpleasant situations when I need to interact with people who are behind the wheel. For example, when they need to go in a certain direction and although they are allowed to go first, it is sometimes easier if I go first to make room for them. The people behind the wheel can wave to me, meaning that I have to go first. But of course I cannot see that so I usually try to avoid these situations by not getting into them at all. (I will take another route if that is possible, there is always a plan B).   

Meeting up with people can be difficult too. I always need to trust that people will find me because I can’t find them first. So I text people where I am at what time and I tell them to look for me. The context of meeting up with people also differs. When I expect a certain person to see, I can look for them and usually when they are within 5 meters or so I can recognize them. BUT the fact that I expect them to see and that that person is walking straight to me does help haha. If I would walk within 5 meters of that person in a completely different context I would walk right past them, even if it is my mother or boyfriend (sorry guys). I must say that when I do recognize someone, I will not make a move because I also are wrong sometimes. Causing me to almost grab the butt of someone who is NOT my boyfriend (several times, whoops), talking to a bald man on the street who happened NOT to be my colleague and talking to strangers who happen to have the same haircut and coat as the people I was with at those moments. Unfortunately, things like these hold me back more than I want because I can get anxious about approaching people. But as you can reed, it does not hold me back forever and always haha.   

By the way, meeting up with another visually impaired person is really a big challenge for me haha! Thank God for smartphones. If I meet up with another visually impaired person I will tell them what I am wearing and I will ask them what they are wearing (colour of their coat and bag) and where they are at what exact moment. It’s like exchanging coordinates because you can’t 100% trust the other person to find you haha.   

All in all, the hard part of not recognizing people is often making eye-contact or not recognizing that person at all. The embarrassment when I make a mistake (but also the laughter when I caught myself almost making a mistake haha). For me it causes anxiety and stress, for example, to meet up with people or going out there by myself knowing that I need to do it alone or that I need to ask for help (what I don’t always like) if that is even possible at certain moments).   

I guess it would be nice to recognize the people around me better, make friends easier or greet other people who I cross paths with regularly (neighbours, people in the supermarket or at the sport club). There are situations where I explain to them that I am visually impaired and that I find it difficult to recognize them and to say hi. The result is that the know and understand and even say hi to me first! (which I always enjoy).    

Like I said, it does suck sometimes BUT let’s end with something positive, like I always do.  Not recognizing people has helped me communicate more clearly, it has helped me to ask for help, it has helped me to challenge myself and not to let it hold me back (too often). And…. Maybe not always immediately, but after a while of certain incidents, I am able to laugh at my embarrassing moments haha.    

I have so much more to tell you about this topic but I will not bore you with a super long post. Let’s end it for now.   

If you like posts like these, please let me know! I will make sure to make more of them. Maybe you have requests or topics that you are interested in?  

 @boosje123