I very much like the analogy of the English language being like a greedy magpie!
Beady eyes darting about before focusing on something shiny No! No don't do it! Thats not even a wor.. Triumphant magpie flying back to its tangled nest

It's not so much the strange compound word rules at times that gets me, its more the online spell checking program's disagreeing about different words.
Well, that and the variety of new terms and phrases that will hopefully not get added to the dictionary in the years to come.
"Turnt" "Fam" "Suh" "Woke" ect..

So fear not! In the years to come, the English language will, as always, do its best to appall you.