Introduction

In Los Angeles, you have the privilege of running into very smart and successful people. This week, I had the pleasure of meeting Chad Corey, CEO of DoucheCoin.

Who is Chad Corey?

Chad likes to call himself many things. Growthhacker. Entrepreneur. Visionary. Influencer. When he isn't rambling about his new Lamborghini, he likes to remind others that he will never forget the importance of being humble. Chad didn't choose the Crypto life, the crypto life chose him. He was inspired by a tattoo he saw on a friend's forearm in Venice. The tattoo inspired Chad to live by the words, "Carpe Diem. Memento Mori."

What is DoucheCoin?

When I started to walk away from Chad, he insisted that I sit down and listen to his pitch. I needed writing material, so I stayed. Chad described DoucheCoin as, "the first cryptocurrency that lets people know how much you hustle." I was unsure what to think. Chad continued, "Before blockchain, you had to go to Yoga, preach Tim Ferris books, grow a beard, and dress in neutral colors to show everyone how much of a new age douchebag you were. Now, you can purchase a DoucheCoin and be a part of a decentralized douchebag community that thrives on douchebaggery."

Who will benefit from buying DoucheCoin?

Chad explained that the problem with douchebaggery, is that it is too fickle and lacks transparency. People will never know who started the trend to grow a beard to overcompensate for lacking masculinity, or unoriginality. The manbun never gave credit to the douche that started it all. Who gets credit for captioning bible verses underneath staged Instagram pictures that have nothing to do with the life of Jesus Christ? Nobody.

Now all douchebags can keep a public ledger of douchebag "transactions". The community of "douchialites" will not approve a social media post, unless it contains: a bible verse(out of context), humble brag, two paragraphs of life advice, and a hashtag contributing to a grassroots social justice warrior movement.

Can females thrive in the DoucheCoin ecosystem?

Yes. According to Chad, up until the late 2000s, the term douchebag was specifically reserved for white males with elitist attitudes, or a Napoleonic complex. Since then, females have also learned to speak and live douchebag. Females that succeed in the DoucheCoin ecosystem tend to share much in common with their male counterparts. The most successful females in the DoucheCoin ecosystem usually pride themselves in loving sarcasm, being flakey, and throwing stones from glass houses. The double standard is key. Get offended, passive aggressive, and virtue signal. If you stick to these rules, you will succeed.

What if I don't want to be a douchebag anymore?

Unfortunately, once you participate in the blockchain, all douchebag activity is recorded. The trends and times might change, but the blockchain cannot erase history.

Conclusion

DoucheCoin is an innovative idea that will disrupt the blockchain and social platform scene. These are the words of CEO Chad Corey. Innovation. Disruption. DoucheCoin.

**Yal3th3whal3 is Blockchain's first satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within steemit.com/@yaleocean3 are fiction, and presumably fake news. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction.