The Diary of an Unmade Man Ep 34


Episode 34 – Mrs D’s debacle


After last week’s change of tone and slightly dampened feel, this week we get back to perma-bull, and bank bashing! Whilst crypto is relatively quiet and flatlining, I keep finding ways to remind me it genuinely is still the future! We just need the right application or use case to really get the wheels moving!

My partner and I have recently been looking to improve our investment portfolio. After spending 4 years completely renovating our own home we have decided to look at purchasing an investment property.

With property prices ever increasing in the UK, and the rental market going through the roof, we feel now is the time to put a side fund into bricks and mortar. Over the last couple of months, we have been looking into purchasing a little flat close to where we live, with the view to renovating it, and keeping it as a long-term investment.

After spending time searching we finally came across something which ticked all our boxes and have begun the process of procurement. As with any property purchase, it is a long and tedious process. There are many hurdles to jump and even more hoops to jump through. The large banking corporations want to know every bit of detail about you, and it feels like you need to give blood to be able to acquire a mortgage. 

Finally, after ticking all the boxes, we were given the green light. All we had left to do was to move the funds ready to make the final transfer.Down the line we had taken some basic financial advice. My partner had moved some of her savings into an ISA to save a few pennies on government tax reliefs. The savings had been there for quite a while. The product was marketed as an ‘Easy Access ISA’. 

Brilliant, moving the funds across to the main fund account would be easy. My partner called the bank to move the money:

Mrs D – “Hi, I would like to move my money from my ISA to my bank account I hold with Bank X”

Bank – “Of course Mrs D, if you would like to move your funds you will need to come into the bank. You will need to pre-book an appointment to speak with one of our financial advisors, then you shall be able to move the funds and close the account. You will also need to bring in a copy of your driving license and passport as proof of identification”

Mrs D – “Thanks, but that doesn’t really help me. I’m very busy this week and it will be a struggle to get into the bank. Would I be able to complete a Skype call, or send the relevant information via email instead? After all, I have just completed all the security in order to speak with yourself now.”

Bank – “I am sorry this is the case, but unfortunately you must come into the branch on your pre-booked appointment. This is the only way we will be able to access the funds and close your account.”

Mrs D “But this is an ‘Easy Access ISA’, why is it so hard to access MY funds?! Do you have any appointments available this week?”

Bank “Unfortunately we do not have any appointments available until the week after next. The only day we complete our financial appointments is Thursday.”

Mrs D “Are you seriously telling me that I cannot book an appointment for nearly 2 weeks, and then, I can only book an appointment on a Thursday?! What happens if I need to get to my money next week?!”

Bank“I am afraid you will not have access to the funds until you have spoken with our financial advisor. Would you like me to book you in an appointment?”

Mrs D was fuming! I mean raging! 

“So, I cannot get hold of MY money from an easy access ISA without first, booking an appointment, of which I cannot do for nearly two weeks, because you only hold those appointments on a Thursday. When I do have an appointment, I then need to come into the bank, which is about 20 minutes out of my way because you have closed all the local ones close to me. When I finally do get in, I must sit with one of your financial advisors for 40 minutes, whilst providing at least 2 copies of identification, which you should have copies of from when I opened the account in the first place. THEN and only then could you transfer the funds. But I will still need to wait 2 – 3 working days before you will send, MY money to another one of MY accounts! This is an utter joke, and I will never be banking with you again! Good day!”   *slams phone down!

*(Ok, she may not have said the ‘Good day’ bit, but for real British, dramatic effect I thought I would chuck it in!)

Anyway, she was really upset. It could put the whole thing in jeopardy. This time of year, is one of the busiest with her job, so taking about 2 hours out of her working day would not go down very well, at all! 

This was another added stress we didn’t need. Here were our funds, sat in an account where we were unable to send to another of our accounts without jumping through some ridiculous hoops. I am certainly not talking about millions of pounds here! If I am being completely transparent, it was approximately £1500

Why should the process be so hard? 

Digital transactions can be completed in mere seconds!It also made us think about who held the keys to OUR money. What would happen if the situation had been an emergency. What would have happened if we would have needed it within hours?!

Thinking long-term, if my Bitcoin is stored on my Ledger (or any other cold storage device), I own my funds. If I want to transfer, sell, buy or exchange, then I hold the key. 


I certainly do not wish for a global apocalypse, but if Bitcoin does become THE global digital store of value then I want to be in charge! 

For those new to Bitcoin or the crypto space, keeping your crypto offline is definitely recommended. Please never give out your private key, to ANY wallet!


There are many places for you to be able to be able to learn how to do this. One place to learn about crypto in general is in the new CRYPTO 101 book!

You can purchase the new book here -–> JOHNNYS GUIDE TO CRYPTOCURRENCY 

If you want to learn or get more involved in one of the best and largest growing communities then stick around. CRYPTO 101 is always expanding. Always looking to get people from everywhere involved. And the first place to do that is the Facebook page. Give it a try today, you never know how it might help!


I myself have received a lot of love and support from the awesome community there. You can find a lot of content on the CRYPTO 101 Steemit blog page as well. Articles are being put there all the time!

If you're on twitter, give me a shout @DaveDustpan. I tweet a lot of light-heartened rubbish, but I do share some knowledge and journey updates from time to time.

Finally, if you've got the time, please take a quick trip to Patreon, please have it in your heart to become a Rarris on Mars member and help keep the community going! I myself am a Patreon. I do this because my mistakes would have been a hell of a lot worse had CRYPTO 101 not been there for me. Not only will you get exclusive content from Matthew Aaron and the team but hopefully it will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

Thanks for reading folks and stay safe out there,

Dave x
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About the Author: Dave is a noob to the world of crypto detailing his ups and downs in his journey to blog-writing crypto superstardom. Dave lives in the UK with his partner Mrs D. Outside of crypto he runs two family businesses. This takes up a great deal of time, although crypto is fast becoming his newest passion. He has an enthusiasm to learn about an industry which he has no clue about. As an amateur keyboard stabber, he hopes to continue writing and one day become a published author.Thank you for reading.