Days Before Break: My reflection on a semester

While the days before break are a time of excitement and joy for most students, they often call for somber reflection on the semester that has past. I had been caught up in a whirlwind of work for so long, that the end of the semester represented a jarring crash back to the ground.

The last days of the semester are akin to the first hours of waking up after a long night of binge drinking. My brain tried to recover, finally coming to its senses and deciphering all that had occurred in the last 3 months. In the midst of the semester, it feels like the day to day motions disconnect from any real purpose or goal. My actions lost meaning, and became a simple force of instinct or habit.

I’ve been told what makes humans different from animals is our ability to contemplate, and to determine ourselves and our own purpose in life. Somewhere through the course of the semester the line between instinct and reason became blurred. In my last days before break, I did absolutely nothing. However, those few aimless days between school, and home carried more meaning than the entire semester itself.

That nothingness served as a wake-up call. Being without obligation tends to awaken an ambition, a creativity that I can’t muster with a semester’s workload hanging over my head. This winter, I learned that I crave purpose. I learned that I can’t be without an overarching goal to guide my actions.

Most importantly, I learned that this reflection is what makes me a human. While we may lose our ambition under an oppressive workload, it’s important to remember what we would be without purpose. Whether its people, possessions, or pride that we work for, without a goal we’re reduced to instinct.