The V Mask Chronicles: Part the First


Sometimes I go out like this to places. I imported over 100 of these masks back in May because I had a feeling that things were going to turn more tyrannical, worse before they became better. The more people wearing them, the better. People ask me what the response has been to these. Here it is:

Costco, mid-May

The first time I wore this out, after Costco made masks mandatory in early May. Right away someone told me they liked my mask. Another person smiled and gave me the thumbs up.

In line, a couple of desert rats yelled out "Awesome mask!!" and flashed the hang-loose sign.

The cashier, a rather hoggy middle-aged lady looked scarrrrrrred. I guess she hasn't seen the film.

Hallmark Post Office, mid-June

I began shipping these out to other activists this month. So far they've gone to Las Vegas, Phoenix, Texas, and Georgia. I brought the package to the Hallmark Post Office, which is SO MUCH NICER than the regular USPS gulag, and showed the ladies there what I was sending.

They loved it. One of them thanked me for not wearing a mask inside. I thanked her for doing the same. She was feeling bad because a customer cussed them out because a couple people hadn't submitted and donned a muzzle. She called one of them a "bitch."

They thanked me, and I even shook hands with one of them, to the delight of the other coworker.

Whole Foods, mid-June

I rolled in wearing this mask a few days ago. The men at the entrance told me they loved the mask. Repeat, LOVED it. I took it off inside for a while and after a "man" went nuts and started yelling at the manager that I wasn't wearing my muzzle, I put it back on.

The produce worker and I shared a lengthy conversation about Anonymous and how much he respects them for stopping the Sony and Xbox hackers a few years ago.

When I checked out, the cashier told me she liked my mask and she really likes V for Vendetta. I asked her if she remembers what year the story took place. She did not (do you remember?).

I told her in the year...2020. She said, no way. I said, yes way. And, the society had become totalitarian because of...a virus.

Chiropractic Office, late June

This is the funniest one. This was after the ugly ruler of Phoenix had decreed that all subjects were to muzzle themselves. I wore this into the office. The girl at the reception desk asked if I had a mask. I was wearing this and said, of course!

She pulled out one of those flimsy disgusting blue ones. She said, "No we meant a medical mask."

I told her I didn't want to wear one.

She looked confused and turned to someone out of my visual range and asked, "Does he have to wear one?"

She looked back at me and said, ok. I guess no was the reply.

I sat down in the empty waiting room and took my V mask off and didn't put it on again.

One of the chiropractic doctors told me that he loved the mask. We talked during the adjustment about all the ridiculous things going on.

So far, the mask has been almost entirely positive. I make new friends and brighten people's days with them. I've got them for qualified freedom-lovers.

Only $5 each if you answer this question correctly:

Taxation is _____ (5 letter word)