So I'm a week late on announcing the last best comment winner. I'm going to do some self-care by extending the contest through yesterday. There have been so many great comments in the last two weeks, but what is interesting to me is those of you who stayed even after the contest had run it's course. I am grateful to everyone who is still taking the time to read and respond.

Right now, I'm particularly grateful for one of you. I'm not playing favorites. It's just that I received this comment a couple of days ago that had me visiting before I could respond. Do you know what I mean? When you read and re-read something because it strikes such a strong chord in your heart that you can't form a response past that thrum?

This image, made with WordSwag, is what my non-profit is all about, but also this post.

Honestly, I've been in a precarious emotional place. I'm not on the best terms with my parents right now. I'm missing my community and culture in ways only the exiled can understand. I am in a nowhere place, in a way. And I'm a person who thrives on true connection. I think what happened with this comment is that I found an understanding in it of an experience I wasn't sure I was sharing correctly. Specifically, I have been writing about my journey with disordered eating and how changing me way of eating is a potential trigger.

You can find the post here, and read what @naquoya shared. Now, he's not saying he is in the same boat at all, but his comment is (like all of his work) compassionate. I was surprised by his words because he does understand how the body-food-mind relationship can be precarious. He knows the struggle of being judged from the outside for something that is happening inside, something that feels out of control even if it is a form of control.

How frustrating to be shamed and pressed for existing as you exist.

Ah, there's the heart of it. That pressure is what I'm feeling. It is in the form of my parents' absence. It hurts. And @naquoya stumbled right into that minefield with me and held my hand without even realizing.

This is the heart of community: showing up. He didn't have to share anything about himself, but he chose to stand with me. Many of you did. I deeply appreciate that support. Eating is hard for me, especially when my heart feels like an island. Yes, my family is still in my life, but we are not connected anymore the way we once were. My choices have been judged as wrong. It's my turn to the black sheep, so to speak, and I don't have problem with that except I do. It's a lump in my throat I can't swallow past. It's the inability to open my mouth because I feel silenced. It's depriving my body of the nourishment it needs for me to thrive.

I am hurting. I am eating. I am, despite my lack of family, thriving. And it is because of the community here, you friends who showed up even after the contest was over to keep supporting.

So, the winner this time is (much to his surprise, I'm sure) is @naquoya. He gets the whole 5SBD pot. And you ALL get my thanks. You are wonderful.

Remember to follow @bestowingfire. He'll be announcing the next contest soon. Let's build his community. Why? Because he's like @naquoya in his genuine and compassionate nature.

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