A lonely lady of 70 years of age, wants to get married again.
She places an advertisement in the local newspaper as follows:

WANTED: A GOOD MAN.
HAS TO BE MY AGE (70)
MUST HAVE NO INTENTION TO HIT ME
MUST HAVE NO INTENTION TO RUN OFF WITH ANOTHER
MUST BE GOOD IN BED!
NO TEXT REPLIES OF PHONECALLS, MUST COME BY TO APPLY TO THIS ADVERTISEMENT.

After two days, the doorbell rings a few times.
Eventhough she's not exactly looking forward to it due to past dissapointments, she goes to the door to open it.

What appears is a gray haired man without any arms or legs in a wheelchair.
"You seriously don't think I'd want you?" the woman asks, "I mean, look at yourself! You have no legs!"
The old man smiles and replies 'Well, that means I can't run off with another."
She grumbles, looking him over again.
"You don't even have hands."
The old man smiles again, only to say "That means I can't hit you."
She thinks about it, only to squint and give him a questioning look.
"Are you still good in bed, though?"
The man sits up in his wheelchair and grins a wide grin.
"I managed to ring the doorbell a few times, didn't I?