I really loved your post. I'm 20 and going through my first year in college. I feel most of what you felt. I don't drink and party, but I'm mostly cut off from everyone else and trying to find a direction in life. I don't have an aim I could confidently pursue.
Maybe we really do need that push which makes us do things we didn't ever think we'd do. Something that drops us so low that we couldn't sink lower. I'm still struggling to find myself but I'm sure I'm getting closer day by day.
Thank you for writing so openly about everything. It really gives me a positive feeling about life. The fact that you turned everything around and managed to shake off that heavy feeling is really motivating!