Cotton Rain (150-word Flash Fiction; Entry for DHS 5SBD Contest)
Cotton Rain
Skating on a thin line between water and sky: reality and fantasy. The fluffy pink clouds wrap me in warmth, whilst the icy waters soak my soul. Drenched, I shiver. Rain of cotton candy sticks on my skin; engulfs me. Suffocated, I stop breathing, but I remain alive.
Plastic eyes blinking. I find myself wondering why entrapment feels comfortable. Safe. Serene. Surrounded by cotton, this is a lovely nightmare. Abruptly, it all fades as their shrieks pierce through my head. Their tantrums; tremors to my ears. Still trapped; my home is being shaken. Dizzy; Dizzier; I faint.
Blurred vision as I wake up. My head feels heavier than a sinner’s soul. Yawn. Wait, why do I have paws and not hands? Voiceless - my mouth is sewn shut. Armpits reeking of desperation. Desperation – wishing to be held again, even if it comes with violent shaking. Isolation hurts more than vertigo.
This is a 150-word flash fiction written for the Die Hard Steemit Flash Fiction Contest. I would like to thank @keangaroo & @jrhughes from @isleofwrite for their feedback in the workshop. Last week was my first ever flash-fic story, so this time I wanted to do something completely opposite and embrace quirkiness and obscurity.
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This is a very interesting prose-piece-verging-on-poetry, laden with surreal images. It starts out dreamlike and only becomes more so as the story progresses, evoking a state of consciousness very different from our everyday experience of waking life. What holds my attention as I read are the emotional reactions of the protagonist. This is the through line, as the events described become increasingly surreal. Really cool experimental piece, I agree with @authorfriendly's Kafka comparison.
Seems like I do have to google Kafka! Am I the only one here without a deep knowledge of literature? hides face.
Jokes aside, thank you for the comment. I appreciate it as I know what worked. Surrealism may be hard to keep track of; so holding you through the protagonist's emotion is an achievement :D It is definitely verging on poetry, as that is what I am used to writing(successfully). Probably, it is more surreal and more poetic than most of my poetry. It is a great experience to break our barriers, explore further, as well as to be inspired by other writers like you :D
I love it that we're being inspired to push beyond our own comfort zones here. And I love that line between poetry and fiction, it can produce some really powerful work.
A book that to me exemplifies this line beautifully is "Beast" by Francesca Lia Block (a collection of short pieces retelling fairy tales). Her writing is minimalist and lavishly imagistic, dreamlike and brutally real. Worth checking out.
As to Kafka... his work is so unique that there's even an adjective derived from it: https://www.google.com/search?q=kafkaesque&oq=kafkaesque&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l5.3040j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Well worth checking out too :)
It intrigues me. Well, I will have to find some time to explore Kafka and maybe Lia Block as well!
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Hey Jeremy
I loved your images and where you took it- kinda like Kafka. I resteamed it etc
Thank you. I am not familiar with Kafka (?) myself. It's cool how from one prompt we take it to completely different stories. The beauty of writing.