For me, the first has both clarity and surprise that the second does not. I knew enough about how Jenny felt to clearly imagine her saying the first line of the joke, although I didn't know it was a joke until Declan laughed. Maybe it's because I read the upper one first, but the joke was funnier the first time around. And the joke teller remains despondent, which is both surprising and says a a lot. Plus, it's one more thing we know about Jenny. Last, I like the shape of it on the page better - the poet in me. I love that story!