You are viewing a single comment's thread from:

RE: Finish the Story Contest - WEEK #22

in #contest6 years ago

I'm glad to see this contest growing, @banananafish. Always so interesting stories, this one is especially complex. I hope I'm up to it. This way to my entrance.

Jump

Then I see the small shadow cast on the wall. We weren't alone, he wasn't the one talking at the time. For 50 seconds the man in front of me convulsed in an uncontrollable spasm. Then he stands still. The shadow on the wall rises upright and threatening above my shadow. I feel the weight on my shoulders and the typical headache of a three-day drunkenness. The man in front of me still has the air of malignancy on his face. I look him in the eye and ask him: Who are you? The body begins a slow zigzag retreat backwards and toward one of the walls. I ask you again, now more defiant and stronger: who are you? I am Mr. Xioin, he said and laughed, showing empty gums now empty.

In the middle of the grey that has formed in the air, I look at the wall in detail; I see the helpless bent body of the man being whipped from within. On the wall, the shadow is still standing over us. The body is being raped, I see his naked, blood-drenched body. I see him crying as he is touched by hands dyed red. In the midst of the crying, the squatting man laughs like a cackle. I must approach, but I feel that within that man a battle is unfolding. The walls shudder under the impact of heavy bodies. A few blows, like a huge hand hitting something solid, are heard over and over again. I see now that blood is flowing from your ears and nose. The diminished body of man lies almost dead and the shadow, like a thirsty animal, lies above him.

I accidentally look out the open window. The lights out there between the big buildings welcome the Yi Peng Festival. I feel like someone's watching me from the window. I see the man lying on the floor again. Now the shadow is not on top of him. He looked for her in the dark and I found her by the window. The shadow calls me from the void. Is this about me? I remember the word FATHER and look back at the man on the floor. I see my face in him, I see myself as a child. The child I'll be. Like a movie, I see in that man all my tragedy lying around.

It was about 12 o'clock and in the distance there was a string of rockets that began to explode like a machine gun. Mr. Xioin is up and running to the window in my carelessness. I see him looking into the shade and in a whisper saying FATHER. Paralyzed and in silence I have seen what my suicide will be.

Sort:  

Your ending has two parts, both interesting, Nancy! The first is scary and disturbing like a scene from The Exorcist, the second shows a very particular twist where the story plot focuses on the main character past in an unexpected way! Well done ✌️

Wow Nancy! This is strong!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.17
TRX 0.13
JST 0.027
BTC 60777.85
ETH 2609.63
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.65