Awesome. Let me get this off my chest.
My kids were just watching previous tapes and recordings they made during halloween and it just reminded me of all i went through that period.
Am I the only person who doesn’t like Halloween?
It’s nothing religious. I have no problem with Satan. Or Dracula. I love horror movies, particularly the first Paranormal Activity and The Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp, a movie so bad it was scary. And look, I get it. It’s fun to dress up. It’s festive. It’s a time to celebrate and party. And seriously, what mature adult wouldn’t pass up the chance to dress up as a twerking Miley Cyrus or a pretend-Ron Burgundy with a banana stuck in his pants? Oh right, that would be me. I wouldn’t do that.
Halloween is an opportunity for everyone to show how “crazy” and “nutty” they are. “Oh, you are so crazy!” “That costume is crazy!” “Is that a red wig on your head? That’s crazy!” “Did you see Jim from accounting? He’s wearing a diaper like a baby! He’s crazy!”
Everyone’s walking around showing how festive and happy and carefree they are. Bartenders are wearing gorilla masks. Flight attendants stick fake antennas on their heads. News anchors don ties with little pumpkins on them. Hipsters and software developers bathe. Everyone uses the occasion to step out of character and be just a little bit crazy! Girl, you are crazy! Dude… that outfit is crazy!
If you have little kids, Halloween is hell. If they’re really little, you’re dragged to the elementary school’s costume parade, where a bunch of 7-year-olds are toddling around in $150 Thomas the Tank Engine outfits while their crazy-eyed moms look on. If you’re the father and you don’t show up for the parade during the middle of the work day, then you’re now officially a bad father. Or you’re missing out on another moment that you’ll never get back, so you feel guilty as hell. If you’re lucky, your kid’s costume won’t get completely trashed during the little parade because it will be needed for…
….the big night! Trick or treating! That means two hours spent walking aimlessly around your neighborhood with four other dads you wouldn’t hang out with any other time except that the kids randomly chose each other and you’re stuck. Heeeeeeeel!!!! Last year was really something else. The same whole process will repeat itself again this year.
I hate the “Mischief Night” before because I’m terrified that my car will be soaped or my house will be egged by some dickhead kids. I also hate Mischief Night because I know my dickhead teenage kids are probably doing that and if they get caught and I’m dragged down to the police station I’m going to pop an artery.

I hate the fact that if I don’t dress up then I’m not cool or I’m a downer. I hate the people that go all out and decorate their houses with spooky stuff because they make me look like a loser and I really don’t need any more help in that department.
I hate the TV shows because they always have pretend families that put on pretend, over-the-top, Hollywood-style events at their make-believe houses to celebrate the night as if everyone in America does the same. It makes me feel inadequate and I don’t need any more help in that department either. Let me stop here. I dont know about every other person here, but halloween is torment. Thank you @steemitbc for the platform to show my disappointment and hate for halloween.